Armageddon (1998 film) Quotes

Armageddon (1998 film) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Armageddon ended in 1970.

It features Jerry Bruckheimer; Gale Anne Hurd, and Michael Bay as producer, Trevor Rabin in charge of musical score, and John Schwartzman as head of cinematography.

Armageddon (1998 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Armageddon (1998 film) is 151 minutes long. Armageddon (1998 film) is distributed by Buena Vista Pictures.

The cast includes: Ben Affleck as A.J., Bruce Willis as Harry Stamper, Billy Bob Thornton as Truman, Owen Wilson as Oscar, Michael Clarke Duncan as Bear, Steve Buscemi as Rockhound, Peter Stormare as Lev Andropov, Jessica Steen as Watts, Billy Bob Thornton as Dan, Jason Isaacs as Ronald Quincy, William Fichtner as Colonel William Sharp, Liv Tyler as Grace Stamper, Bruce Willis as Harry, Will Patton as Chick, Keith David as General Kimsey, Ken Campbell as Max, and Bruce Willis as AJ.

Armageddon (1998 film) Quotes

Billy Bob Thornton as Truman

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Now let's keep the laughter to a minimum. I know this is not to scale. Both shuttles will take off Tuesday at 6:30pm. Now, 67 minutes later, you're gonna dock with the Russian Space Station to meet cosmonaut Andropov, who will refuel the shuttles with liquid O2; that's your fuel; then you'll release and take a 60 hour trip toward the moon. Now we only have one shot of landing on this rock, and that's precisely when the asteroid passes by the moon. You'll then use lunar gravity and burn your thrusters, slingshotting you around the moon, coming up behind the asteroid. You'll be upward of 11 G's."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Welcome back, cowboy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "lt's the size of Texas, Mr President."
• (President) "Dan, we didn't see this thing coming?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Well, our object collison budget's a million dollars, that allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky."
• (President) "And the ones this morning?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Uh, those are nothing. Uh, they're the size of basketballs -- and, uh, Volkswagens, things like that."
• (President) "Is this going to hit us?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "We're obtaining that as we speak, sir."
• (President) "What kind of damage are we --"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Damage? Total, sir. It's what we call a global killer. The end of mankind. Doesn't matter where it hits. Nothing would survive, not even bacteria."
• (President) "My God. What do we do?"
• (NASA Techs) "We have 18 days before it hits Earth."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Welcome back, cowboy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "So you drill, you drop the nuke, and you leave. Now, here's the key: you're gonna remote-detonate the bomb -- before the asteroid passes this plane,"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Zero Barrier. You do that, and the remaining pieces of rock should be deflected enough to pass right by us. Now, if the bomb explodes after Zero Barrier --"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Game's over."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "With the proximity of the asteroid, and no prep time, none of our primary plans can work."
• (Keith David) "Why don't we just send up a hundred and fifty nuclear warheads and blast that rock apart?"
• (Jason Isaacs) "Terrible idea."
• (Keith David) "Was I talkin' to you?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "This is Dr. Ronald Quincy from Research. Pretty much the smartest man on the planet You might wanna listen to him."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Welcome back, cowboy."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Welcome back, cowboy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh ?"

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Tell me you never let anybody down."
• (Bruce Willis) "I never quit yet --"

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "So, when the rogue comet hit the asteroid belt, it sent shrapnel right for us. For the next 15 days, the Earth's in a shooting gallery. Even if the asteroid itself hits the water, it's still hitting land. It'll flash boil millions of galleons of sea water and slam into the ocean bedrock. Now if it's a Pacific Ocean impact, which we think it will be, it'll create a tidal wave 3 miles high, travel at a thousand miles an hour, covering California, and washing up in Denver. Japan's gone, Australia's wiped out. Half the world's population will be incinerated by the heat blast, and the rest will freeze to death from nuclear winter."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Welcome back, cowboy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh ?"

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "What is this?"
• (Keith David) "Secondary protocol."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "But they haven't drilled the damn hole yet."
• (Keith David) "The president's advisors feel that the drilling isn't working. And we've lost radio contact, maybe for good. We've only got a few minutes left of guaranteed ability to remote detonate that nuke. If we don't do it now, we could lose control and we may never get it back."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Well, you tell the president that he better fire his so-called advisors. And if you detonate that nuke on the surface, we've wasted a perfectly good bomb. And we have one chance to save this planet."

• (Karl) "Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person that finds her gets to name her right?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Yes-yes that's right, that's right."
• (Karl) "I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape."

Jason Isaacs as Ronald Quincy

• (Jason Isaacs) "Imagine a firecracker in the palm of your hand. You set it off, what happens? You burn your hand, right? You close your fist around the same firecracker,"
• (Jason Isaacs) "and set it off. Your wife's gonna be opening your ketchup bottles the rest of your life."

• (Jason Isaacs) "I know the president's chief scientific advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you-you really don't wanna take the advice from a man who got a C- in astrophysics. The president's advisors are, um -- wrong -- and I'm right."

Bruce Willis as Harry Stamper

• (Bruce Willis) "We win, Gracie."

• (Bruce Willis) "AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy."
• (Ben Affleck) "That's six words."

• (Bruce Willis) "WE WIN, GRACIE."

• (Bruce Willis) "Quincy. Somebody tell me what this is. Plastic ice cream scoop? What'd that cost? About $400."

• (Dr. Banks) "Fail. Fail. Depressively fail. One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative."
• (Bruce Willis) "Sedatives are used all the time, doctor."
• (Dr. Banks) "Well this one's used on horses."
• (Bruce Willis) "Some of these guys are pretty big."
• (Dr. Banks) "You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel. We have seen evidence of a wide fariety of territorial aggression."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Can they physically survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay?"
• (Dr. Banks) "Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests."

• (Bruce Willis) "If we don't put this bomb down in a hole 800 feet onto a fault line, all you're gonna have is a real expensive fireworks show."

• (Unnamed) "Mr Stamper, I'm General Montgomery, commander of the Pacific air forces. I've been sent here by the secretary of defence on direct orders from the president of the United States."
• (Unnamed) "It's a matter of urgent national security. I need you to get on that chopper right now, no questions asked."
• (Bruce Willis) "Crazy Willie put you up to this?"
• (Unnamed) "'Fraid I dont know Crazy Willie, sir. I'm dead serious about this."

• (Bruce Willis) "You wanna go home? Is that it? You wanna be fired?"
• (Ben Affleck) "No, I don't. My crew was doin' the right thing."
• (Bruce Willis) "Your crew?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Yeah."
• (Bruce Willis) "Your crew just blew the whole transmission, A.J."
• (Ben Affleck) "Listen, that NASA computer is just playin' it safe. The machine you built; the rig; can do it."
• (Bruce Willis) "Shut up. Just shut up. Shut your mouth. Those men in that room have zero tolerence for showin' off, hot doggin', going by your gut instinct or you tryin' to be a hero. You got that? Say the words, A.J."
• (Ben Affleck) "I got it."

• (Bruce Willis) "I'm gonna give you three seconds to shut this bomb down, and then I'm gonna make you shoot me."

• (Bruce Willis) "Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking."
• (Ken Campbell) "I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya."

• (Bruce Willis) "Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I'd be comin' home. Now I don't know what you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here."

• (Bruce Willis) "How long you work for me?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Five wonderful years."
• (Bruce Willis) "In five years you have never apologized to me this quickly. Something's goin' on here, I'm gonna find out what it is."

• (Bruce Willis) "I ain't gonna kill him. I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work with one foot."

• (Bruce Willis) "Is this supposed to be like this?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Don't worry. This is normal."
• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "How would you know?"

• (Bruce Willis) "Harry'll do it. I know it. He doesn't know how to fail."

• (Bruce Willis) "Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home."
• (Liv Tyler) "I-I don't under-understand."
• (Bruce Willis) "Looks like I'm gonna have to break that promise."

• (Bruce Willis) "For god's sakes, think about what you're doin'. Why are you listening to someone that's a 100,000 miles away? We're here, nobody down there can help us. So if we don't get this job done, everybody's gone."
• (Will Patton) "One minute."
• (Bruce Willis) "I have been drilling holes in the earth for 30 years. And I have never, NEVER missed a depth that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one, I will make 800 feet."
• (Will Patton) "42 seconds."
• (Bruce Willis) "But I can't do it alone, Colonel. I need your help."
• (William Fichtner) "Do you swear on your daughter's life, on my family's, that you can hit that mark?"
• (Bruce Willis) "I will make 800 feet. I swear to God I will."
• (William Fichtner) "Then let's turn this bomb off."

Peter Stormare as Lev Andropov

• (Peter Stormare) "Now I'm really a Russian hero."

• (Peter Stormare) "It's stuck, yes?"
• (Jessica Steen) "Back off. You don't know the components."
• (Peter Stormare) "Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN."

• (Peter Stormare) "Don't touch my uncle. You know? He's a genius of my family."

• (Peter Stormare) "I am not a gas station. This is a sophisticated laboratory."

• (Peter Stormare) "Welcome home, astronauts."

• (Peter Stormare) "Welcome everybody."

• (Peter Stormare) "He used to make the tip of the bomb. The thing that finds, uh, New York or Washington, you know?"

• (Peter Stormare) "I am not gas station. This is sophisticated laboratory."

• (Peter Stormare) "I'm stepping outside."
• (Ben Affleck) "You're-you're going outside?"
• (Peter Stormare) "I am the only certified astronaut. And I'm saving your American ass."

• (Freddy Noonan) "Pretty intense, huh?"
• (Peter Stormare) "That's why I told you "touch nothing". But you're bunch of cowboys."

• (Peter Stormare) "This is how we fix problem in the Russian space station."

Ben Affleck as A.J.

• (Ben Affleck) "If anybody's anybody, I'm Han and you're-you're Chewbacca."
• (Owen Wilson) "Chewy? Have you even seen Star Wars?"

• (Ben Affleck) "If you had like little animal cracker Discovery Channel thing watch the gazelle as he graze's through the open plains, and now look as the cheetah approachs. Watch as he stalks his prey. Now the gazelle has looked spooked and he could head north, to the mountainous peeks above, or he could go south. The gazelle now faces man's most perilous question, north -- Or south --"

• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh ?"

• (Ben Affleck) "You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg."

• (Ben Affleck) "This is great. We just happen to run into the Grand Canyon on the asteroid."
• (Peter Stormare) "I told you, you took wrong way, wrong road."
• (Ben Affleck) "What? What road? Do you see any roads around here?"
• (Peter Stormare) "You know what, I do not have much pleasure being near God's ear, but you think this is looking good or what?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Lev, why don't you just do humanity a favor and just shut the hell up?"

• (Ben Affleck) "You know, Harry, there are only, uh, five words, I want to hear from you right now and those words are: you know A.J., I really look up to you, you been a hero of mine for sometime, and I'm really impressed with your work and I'm emotionally closed off --"
• (Ben Affleck) "That's like; I dunno, that's like eleven words or something. You know what how bout just: A.J., I'm sorry and I love you?"

• (Ben Affleck) "You know what I was thinkin'?"
• (Liv Tyler) "What?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I-I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker."
• (Liv Tyler) "Why?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, and, you know, I mean putting cheese on something is sort of the defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. I don't know why I thought of that, I just --"
• (Liv Tyler) "Baby, you have such sweet pillow talk."

• (Ben Affleck) "Just tell Grace that, uh, that I'll always be with her. Okay? Can you do that?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Yeah. Okay, kid."
• (Bruce Willis) "Give this to Truman. Make sure Truman gets that. Get in there."
• (Bruce Willis) "It's my turn now."
• (Ben Affleck) "Harry. Harry. You can't do this to me. It's my job."
• (Bruce Willis) "You go take care of my little girl now. That's your job. Always thought of you as a son. Always. But, I'd be damn proud to have you marry Grace."
• (Ben Affleck) "Harry."
• (Bruce Willis) "You take care of yourself."
• (Ben Affleck) "Harry, no."
• (Bruce Willis) "I love you,pal."
• (Ben Affleck) "Harry, I love you. Don't Harry. Wait a minute. Harry, no."
• (Bruce Willis) "Goodbye son."

• (Ben Affleck) "Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?"
• (Peter Stormare) "No, I never saw Star Wars."

• (Ben Affleck) "Here's Harry giving me a hard time. And, uh, this is Harry tellin' me it's not good enough. And, uh, this is Harry tellin' me I can't marry his daughter."
• (Ben Affleck) "Thanks alot, appreciate it."

• (Ben Affleck) "Uh, Harry wanted you to have this."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "He did, huh."

Steve Buscemi as Rockhound

• (Steve Buscemi) "It's a god damn Greek tragedy."

• (Steve Buscemi) "You wanna compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Harry, this is illegal man."
• (Bruce Willis) "I'm temporarily insane, Rock, it's all right."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Just tryin' to have some fun before I died."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Wow, this is a god**** Greek tragedy."

• (F.B.I. Agent) "We have a national security matter."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Good for you."

• (Steve Buscemi) "This one looks like you -- with breasts."

• (Steve Buscemi) "You are SO messin' with national security right now, man. You are FIRED tomorrow morning, I'm tellin' ya. I'll get the CIA and the FBI, you'll be workin' security at Toys R' Us."

• (Biker Customer) "Who the hell do you think you guys are? You're hoggin' all the action."
• (Freddy Noonan) "Hey pinhead, why don't you go find your own party."
• (Biker Customer) "Why don't you share the wealth, pal."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Here, you can buy yourself a neck."
• (Ken Campbell) "Hey, Mr. Clean."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Woman with large breasts -- woman with medium breasts --"

• (Steve Buscemi) "God, I hate knowing everything."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Guess what guys, it's time to embrace the horror. Look, we've got front row tickets to the end of the earth."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, okay?"

• (Steve Buscemi) "We are staying or going, staying or going. Come on, pick up your minds."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Wow. Got a great view of the Earth from here. Too bad we'll never set foot on her again."

• (Steve Buscemi) "This place is like Dr. Seuss's worst nightmare."

• (Steve Buscemi) "We're in segment 202, lateral grid 9, site 15H32; give or take a few yards. Captain America here blew the landing by 26 miles."
• (William Fichtner) "How the hell do you know that?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Because I'm a genius."
• (Jessica Steen) "The gauges will not read; they're all peaked like we're plugged into some magnetic field"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Well, who on the spaceship wants to know why?"
• (Gruber, Munitions Specialist) "By all means."
• (Steve Buscemi) "The reason we were shooting for grid 8 was because thermographics indicated that grid 9 was compressed iron ferrite. Which means you landed us on a god**** iron plate."

• (Steve Buscemi) "This is so much fun, it's freaky."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Come on. We're stayin', we're goin'. We're stayin', we're goin'. Make up your minds."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Harry."
• (Bruce Willis) "What?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Man, I swear to God, she never told me her age."
• (Bruce Willis) "It's all right, relax. It's about me."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Oh."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Forget it."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Okay, Cyclops Lady's starting to bug me."

• (Steve Buscemi) "What does that mean?"
• (William Fichtner) "It means we've got a busted ship."
• (Steve Buscemi) "A busted ship? And I'm strapped in here? I had a great spot picked out there."

• (Vinnie the loanshark) "This is a pretty big loan. Why don't you count the cash?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Nah, this feels like a hundred grand to me."
• (Vinnie the loanshark) "I'm giving you this for 60%, I hope you know what you're doing, because I'll bust your head with a sledgehammer."
• (Steve Buscemi) "You'll get your money back."
• (Vinnie the loanshark) "You don't look too healthy, you're not gonna die on me are you?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Let's just say no more than you are."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Thanks Vic."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that; is that what we're doin' here?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Rockhound."
• (Steve Buscemi) "No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry."
• (Bruce Willis) "Hey, Rock. Knock it off."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Hey, guys, remember: we're, we're heroes now. So that incident with me and the gun on the asteroid -- Let's keep that under wraps, all right."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Well it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour."

• (Steve Buscemi) "Just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother."

Will Patton as Chick

• (Will Patton) "Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking."

• (Will Patton) "This is turning into a surrealistic nightmare."

• (Helga the Nurse) "Mr. Chappell, you're next"
• (Will Patton) "Aw, gee, lady. I just came here to drill."
• (Helga the Nurse) "Oh."
• (Helga the Nurse) "So did I."

• (Denise) "What are you doing here?"
• (Will Patton) "I was just passing by on the, uh, I came --"
• (Tommy) "Who's he?"
• (Denise) "That man's a salesman. Would you go inside? Thank you."
• (Will Patton) "He got big."
• (Denise) "You can't come around like this. The court says you can't. It confuses him."
• (Will Patton) "No I know. I just -- I wanted to say that I'm sorry about everything, and -- I got something coming up, something kinda big. You just might be proud of me. Would you do something for me? Would you just give him this. You don't have; you don't have to tell him who it's from just --"

• (Will Patton) "I never told anybody this before, but I hate flyin'. So it would be an awful shame to die now."
• (Steve Buscemi) "That's easy for you to say. I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds."
• (Will Patton) "Boy, that's bad."

• (Will Patton) "Freddy, you all right?"
• (Freddy Noonan) "Does this look okay to you? Does this look okay?"
• (Ken Campbell) "It's not too bad. It's kinda tingly."

• (Will Patton) "Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?"

• (Will Patton) "Blew the tranny -- blew the tranny."

William Fichtner as Colonel William Sharp

• (William Fichtner) "Miss Stamper. Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Air Force, ma'am. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met."

• (William Fichtner) "United States astronauts train for years. You have twelve days."

• (William Fichtner) "It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws."
• (Steve Buscemi) "I say we all stay and die."
• (Steve Buscemi) "But that's me."
• (Bruce Willis) "I'll draw. Let's draw."
• (Bruce Willis) "Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it."
• (Will Patton) "Well, I can't live with that sort of thing."
• (Peter Stormare) "Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right?"
• (Peter Stormare) "Bulls***. No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer. No way."
• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility."
• (Bruce Willis) "All right. All right."
• (Steve Buscemi) "I can do it."
• (Bruce Willis) "Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on."
• (Will Patton) "I ain't drawin' against you, Harry."
• (Bruce Willis) "Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it."
• (Will Patton) "Just gimme this thing."
• (Peter Stormare) "Is this good, or bad?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world."

• (William Fichtner) "Somethings not right, too much time has gone by. We're going back to do it ourselves."
• (Will Patton) "Just don't, wait one minute."

• (William Fichtner) "Houston, we have no fire,"
• (Steve Buscemi) "What's that mean?"
• (William Fichtner) "It means we got a busted ship."
• (Steve Buscemi) "A busted ship? And I'm strapped in here. I had a great spot picked out there."

• (William Fichtner) "Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Airforce, ma'am. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met."

• (William Fichtner) "This is insane."
• (Bruce Willis) "Have you lost your mind?"
• (William Fichtner) "He's got space dementia."

• (William Fichtner) "Talk about the wrong stuff."

• (William Fichtner) "Get off -- the nuclear -- warhead."
• (Steve Buscemi) "I was doing that guy from that movie, you know, Slim Pickens, where he rides it all the way in, the nuclear warhead."
• (William Fichtner) "Now."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Oh, you didn't see that one, huh?"

Owen Wilson as Oscar

• (Owen Wilson) "Great, I got that "excited/scared" feeling. Like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's more; It could be two; it could be 98% scared, 2% excited but that's what makes it so intense, it's so; confused. I can't really figure it out."
• (Owen Wilson) "Will you make mine really tight, 'cause I don't wanna fall out. I mean, almost to the point of cutting off circulation."

• (Owen Wilson) "I tell you one thing that really drives me nuts, is people who think that Jethro Tull is just a person in a band."
• (Psychologist) "Who is Jethro Tull?"

• (Owen Wilson) "This is space. Course, we're just in the beginning part of space, we-we haven't even got to outer space yet."

• (Owen Wilson) "Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?"
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that."
• (Owen Wilson) "Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable."

Ken Campbell as Max

• (Ken Campbell) "My favorite dish is haggis. Heart, lungs, liver. You shove that all in a sheep's stomach, than you boil it. That'll put some hair on your ass."

• (Ken Campbell) "A home run. The Cubs win the World Series. Ah."

• (Ken Campbell) "God, it sucks up here."

Liv Tyler as Grace Stamper

• (Liv Tyler) "Thought you said you couldn't trust him."
• (Bruce Willis) "I thought you said I could."

• (Liv Tyler) "First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And then he had to show me how to use them, Harry."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn't show her, Harry."

• (Liv Tyler) "Hi Harry."
• (Bruce Willis) "I have repeatedly asked you to call me dad."
• (Liv Tyler) "Sorry Harry."

• (Liv Tyler) "You have not told them yet. That is my father up there."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "This is one order you shouldn't follow and you f***ing know it."

• (Liv Tyler) "Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice; my choice and not yours."
• (Bruce Willis) "He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. It's not a choice, it's a lack of options."

• (Liv Tyler) "Daddy?"
• (Liv Tyler) "Hi Gracie Hi honey. Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home."
• (Liv Tyler) "I don't under-understand."
• (Bruce Willis) "Looks like I'm going to have to break that promise."
• (Liv Tyler) "I lied to you too. When I told you I didn't want to be like you. Because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from you. I love you so much daddy. And I'm so proud of you, I'm so scared. I'm so scared."
• (Bruce Willis) "I know it baby. But there won't be anything to be scared of soon. Gracie, I want you to know that AJ saved us. He did. I want you to tell Chick, that I couldn't have done it without him. None of it. I want you to take care of AJ. And I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle, but I'll -- I'll look in on you from time to time, okay honey? I love you Grace."
• (Liv Tyler) "I love you too."
• (Bruce Willis) "Gotta go now honey."
• (Liv Tyler) "Daddy, no."
• (Liv Tyler) "No no dad no."

• (Liv Tyler) "I, um, I lied to you, too, when I told you that I didn't wanna be like you, because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me I have from you."

• (Liv Tyler) "Baby, do you think its possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?"

Michael Clarke Duncan as Bear

• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Yo, Harry, you the man."

• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Just for the record, this is a very bad idea."

• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "I am not crazy. I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all this stuff at me, man. Look, I mean, after this is over, can I like get a hug from you or something?"

• (Michael Clarke Duncan) "What's up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?"

Jessica Steen as Watts

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Keith David as General Kimsey

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.