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American Pie Presents: Band Camp Quotes

American Pie Presents: Band Camp is a television show that first aired in 1970 . American Pie Presents: Band Camp ended its run in 1970.

It features Mike Elliott (film producer) as producer, Robert Folk in charge of musical score, and Victor J. Kemper as head of cinematography.

American Pie Presents: Band Camp is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of American Pie Presents: Band Camp is 92 minutes long. American Pie Presents: Band Camp is distributed by Universal Studios Home Entertainment.

American Pie Presents: Band Camp Quotes

  • (Mr. Levenstein) "We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their -- instruments in such -- odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine. So, uhh -- you're perfectly normal."
  • (Brandon Vandecamp) "You're going down."
  • (Matt Stifler) "No, I'm not. But your mom did last night. Did she play the trumpet? 'Cause she has really strong lips."
  • (Matt Stifler) "Bite my nuts and call me Skippy."
  • (Matt Stifler) "What the fuck."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you a rookie, you look lost?"
  • (Matt Stifler) "Are you an asshole, you're hairy and you smell like shit."
  • (Ernie Kaplowitz) "Are you really Scottish?"
  • (Matt Stifler) "Fuck no. My mom made me learn an instrument; that's the most annoying one I could think of."
  • (Ernie Kaplowitz) "Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages, that's step number two?"
  • (Matt Stifler) "No, actually it's step four; but you don't have the balls for two, or the tongue for three."
  • (Brandon Vandecamp) "I see you 're not wearing you beanie, Stifler."
  • (Matt Stifler) "Well, how about I take his beanie --"
  • (Matt Stifler) "-- and put it on my weenie?"
  • (Elyse) "Do you know what you just did?"
  • (Matt Stifler) "Doesn't matter. Fucker's going down."
  • (Matt Stifler) "How's that taste, Vande-cock? Mmmm -- good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah, it's a CUM-pletely new formula. 100% Stiffy Juice. SPF 69."
  • (Sherman) "When school starts you're going to be on a very short leash. Remember, the Shermanator sees all."
  • (Oscar) "Let's go Horndog. That's is nickname. Dude will stick his dick in anything, it's unnatural."
  • (Jimmy) "This one time in Band Camp, I fucked an oboe."
  • (Matt Stifler) "WHAT?"
  • (Jimmy) "Blowing it for a while. Get that wood nice and warm. Slap on some valve oil, and GO TO TOWN yo."
  • (Ernie Kaplowitz) "I really want to work for NASA."
  • (Matt Stifler) "National Anal Sex Association?"
  • (Ernie Kaplowitz) "No it's Space Assoc -- There's an Anal Sex Association?"
  • (Matt Stifler) "Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. Wait, there's a Space Association?"

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