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American Duos Quotes

American Duos is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . American Duos ended its run in 1970.

American Duos Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "How did you know that sandwich didn't come from the kitchen?"
  • (Unnamed) "Easy. There were only eighty-three sesame seeds on his bun. All the other ones from the hotel have eighty-seven."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you serious?"
  • (Unnamed) "No. The other ones have swords, Nigel's had a toothpick. I'm not Rain Man, Gus."
  • (Unnamed) "You sing like Rain Man."
  • (Unnamed) "Nigel just called us a curious combination of inbreeding and type 2 diabetes, but he passed us through anyways."
  • (Unnamed) "Wow. That seems awfully harsh."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, Australian people are mean."
  • (Unnamed) "You must be out of your damn mind."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, you have three full cobs."
  • (Unnamed) "Shawn, I will slap you."
  • (Unnamed) "Why would Michael Jackson sing with Roland Orzabal?"
  • (Unnamed) "Why would Billy Ocean sing with Roland Orzabal?"
  • (Unnamed) "Because he's awesome."
  • (Unnamed) "Now you're trying to seduce me."
  • (Unnamed) "I never thought I would make this sound in my lifetime, but -- ewww."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, who was it?"
  • (Unnamed) "I can't be sure. I thought I was dreaming, but it might have been a werewolf."
  • (Unnamed) "That's what you get for drinking whole milk, Shawn."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, I have bones of granite."
  • (Unnamed) "I feel as if I have been incarcerated in a blueberry."
  • (Unnamed) "Hello? I need my bag."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, Mr. Bean, thank God it's you. I really need my bag, please."
  • (Unnamed) "And I need a confession."
  • (Unnamed) "I have a kid in Milwaukee. The father's Samoan. Can I now please have my bag, Tony Randall?"
  • (Unnamed) "I wouldn't put all my eggs in Emilina's basket. She's barely lucid enough to form word endings, much less plan a series of attacks on Nigel's life."
  • (Unnamed) "She could be like Keyser Soze."
  • (Unnamed) "With one shoe."
  • (Unnamed) "You're stiff. Inarticulate. Slightly jaundiced. Asymmetrical. You smell. The one on the right, there's something in your teeth. All in all, I'd say there's absolutely nothing worthwhile about either one of you."
  • (Unnamed) "But -- we haven't even sang yet."
  • (Unnamed) "Apples and oranges. Anybody else?"
  • (Unnamed) "I like 'em."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, of course you like them, you've been asleep for the last forty-five minutes. Zapato?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I --"
  • (Unnamed) "Good. Moving on."
  • (Unnamed) "I feel like I've been incarcerated in a blueberry."
  • (Unnamed) "Shawn."
  • (Unnamed) "This car makes me want to weep and then die."
  • (Unnamed) "I might have been a little pitchy; I had a dairy-heavy Jamba Juice."
  • (Unnamed) "I feel like an angel baby, swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy."
  • (Unnamed) "Spencer, you missed something. We've found prints."
  • (Unnamed) "Was he in a little red Corvette --"
  • (Unnamed) "under the cherry moon?"
  • (Unnamed) "Finger-prints"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I did go to cheerleader camp for two weeks. I got kicked out."
  • (Unnamed) "Kicked out?"
  • (Unnamed) "It's a long story. Suffice it to say I don't like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of the head."
  • (Unnamed) "I've got an ice-cold can of whoop-ass just sitting in that fridge."
  • (Unnamed) "Actually, it's diet whoop-ass."
  • (Unnamed) "Great. What are you two doing down at that competition?"
  • (Unnamed) "We're looking for our big break."
  • (Unnamed) "Do I get a phone call?"
  • (Unnamed) "No. I am trying to conduct an investigation. Out."
  • (Unnamed) "Don't you want to ask us if we did it?"
  • (Unnamed) "Ask him. I plead the fifth."
  • (Unnamed) "Spencer, you missed something. We found prints."
  • (Unnamed) "Was he in a little red corvette?"
  • (Unnamed) "Under the cherry moon?"
  • (Unnamed) "Finger prints."
  • (Unnamed) "Nigel."
  • (Unnamed) "I just, um, dropped some -- items."
  • (Unnamed) "What about Detective Lassiter?"
  • (Unnamed) "Absolutely not. His hair looks like it was poured out of a cake mold."
  • (Unnamed) "This is just another knock-off of the other knock-off of the original knock-off of that other show."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm Shawn Spenstar. This is my partner, Gus T.T. Showbiz."
  • (Unnamed) "The extra T is for extra talent."
  • (Unnamed) "Don't you dare answer that."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, it's Jules. She could be bleeding and in a ditch."
  • (Unnamed) "She's not bleeding."
  • (Unnamed) "She could be in a ditch."
  • (Unnamed) "She's not in a ditch."
  • (Unnamed) "She could be lonely and in the shower."
  • (Unnamed) "She has a shower phone?"
  • (Unnamed) "I certainly hope so. Dude, it's a win-win -- except for the ditch one."
  • (Unnamed) "Come on, Count Chocula, I know you're in there. Don't make me pee on something. Again."
  • (Unnamed) "That's it; take off the robe. Wearing that robe is a privilege and you, pal, have just lost it."
  • (Unnamed) "I steadfastly refuse. This is the plushiest, most opulent robe I've ever had the pleasure of wearing."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, there's one thing we can agree on. Now give it up."
  • (Unnamed) "No. I feel like an angel baby swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I did go to cheerleader camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out."
  • (Unnamed) "Kicked out?"
  • (Unnamed) "It's a long story. Sufficient to say, I don't like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little on the back of the head."
  • (Unnamed) "Shawn, we're in a hallway. Staying close to the wall doesn't make us invisible."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm going to disagree."

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