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Addams Family Values Quotes

Addams Family Values is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Addams Family Values ended its run in 1970.

It features Scott Rudin as producer, Marc Shaiman in charge of musical score, and Donald Peterman as head of cinematography.

Addams Family Values is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Addams Family Values is 94 minutes long. Addams Family Values is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Christina Ricci as Wednesday, Mercedes McNab as Amanda, Christine Baranski as Becky, Anjelica Huston as Morticia, Harriet Sansom Harris as Ellen, Jimmy Workman as Pugsley, Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky, David Krumholtz as Joel, Raúl Juliá as Gomez, Nathan Lane as Desk sergeant, Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester, Cynthia Nixon as Heather, Peter MacNicol as Gary, Carol Kane as Grandma, Sam McMurray as Don Buckman, David Hyde Pierce as Delivery Room Doctor, David Hyde Pierce as Delivery Nurse, Carel Struycken as Lurch, Carel Struycken as The Addams Family, and Julie Halston as Mrs. Glicker.

Addams Family Values Quotes

Anjelica Huston as Morticia

  • (Anjelica Huston) "You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Good night, Debbie."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Good night."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Scream if you need anything."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Gomez."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Cara mia?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Marvelous news. I'm going to have a baby. Right now."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie --"
  • (Joan Cusack) "What?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "-- pastels?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Did you see that?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Where are we?"
  • (Carol Kane) "It looks familiar -- of course, the gates of hell."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Yes."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Yes."
  • (Carol Kane) "Well, that's just not true."
  • (Carol Kane) "Not anymore."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Are you enjoying this?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "To think, a child of mine."
  • (Anjelica Huston) ""I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun -- that is funny.""
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Oh, no. He lives."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Oh, Gomez. It's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "It says, "Toddler"."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "It's a dream."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Come, cara mia."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind."
  • (Harriet Sansom Harris) "Boys?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Homicide."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do?"
  • (Carol Kane) "Well, you have a black dress."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "So -- you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Forever."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "I'll get them."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "All the important numbers: Police, Fire Department, Morgue."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Adieu, mon cher."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Adios, cara mia."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "One house, three children, so many windows."

Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester

  • (Christopher Lloyd) "She makes me think of -- volatile chemicals."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Truly Fester, has it finally happened at long last?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I don't know. I think so."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Dementia. What a beautiful name."
  • (Dementia) "It means "insanity.""
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "My name is Fester. It means "to rot.""
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I -- I have needs."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "-- There's Thing."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I, Fester Addams, do hereby declare my un-ending love."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I will worship you forever. I will devote my every waking moment to your happiness alone."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Henceforth, I am your eternal and helpless slave."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Nice."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Ditto."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I'm her husband."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Fester."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Gimme a kiss."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Gimme a twenty."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Gomez. Morticia. Great news. Something impossible -- a miracle."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "The rash?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "It's gone?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I'm engaged."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "That ring."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "It was our mother's. She was buried with it."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "It's me, Gomez. I've tried to be someone I'm not. I live in shame -- and the suburbs."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "But you belong to Debbie. You're Debbie's love toy. You are Mr. Debbie."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I am an Addams."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Fester."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "A birthday party. What a treat. And to think, I might have missed all this. What was I thinking of?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Physical pleasure."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Ooohhh."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Uncle Fester, do you miss Debbie?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Well -- sometimes, late at night, I remember how she used to turn to me and say, "Jeez, Fester, go back to your room.""
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "It's not the same thing, I want legs, a body -- a head."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "TWO legs?"

Christina Ricci as Wednesday

  • (Christina Ricci) "Death. Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Hurrah. Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one."
  • (Christina Ricci) "You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you plead?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Guilty."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Guilty. By her own admission. The sentence is death. Executioner, place her on the block."
  • (Christina Ricci) "1 -- 2 --"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Children, what are you doing?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Playing."
  • (Christina Ricci) "-- 3."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Woe to the Republic."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Pugsley, the baby weighs ten pounds, the cannonball weighs twenty pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "I'm still on fractions."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Which do you think?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "The cannonball?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Very good. But which one will bounce?"
  • (Jimmy Workman) "The baby?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "There's only one way to find out. Ready? One -- two -- three."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Hurry up."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "I'm coming."
  • (David Krumholtz) "Wait."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Who's there?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "Be careful. Tetanus."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "There they are. I saw them sneak out."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Children, what do you think you're doing?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "We have to see our family. It's very important."
  • (Christine Baranski) "More important than a summer of fun? More important than making new friends? More important than sharing?"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "And Joel Glicker. I'm surprised at you."
  • (David Krumholtz) "I-I have to get out of here. I have allergies."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Oh, you're allergic? To sunshine and archery and crafts?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "Yes."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "I think they should be punished."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "Punish."
  • (Unnamed) "Punish. Punish. Punish. Punish. Punish. Punish."
  • (Christine Baranski) "No. No. We are not here to punish. We are here to inspire."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Campers? Do you know what I think are little ninja friends here need? Do you know what just might turn their sad and potentially wasted little lives right all around?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "What?"
  • (Unnamed) "Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Oh Lord, kumbaya."
  • (Christina Ricci) "What are you in for?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "I wouldn't go horseback riding."
  • (Christina Ricci) "That's all?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "And I wouldn't make a bird house."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Why not?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "I just wanted to read."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Not on my time, four eyes. Ha ha ha ha ha."
  • (Christina Ricci) "I'm not perky."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "That's for damn sure."
  • (Christina Ricci) "We don't hug."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Oh, they're just shy."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "We're not shy."
  • (Christina Ricci) "We're contagious."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead."
  • (Carol Kane) "Dearly beloved --"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Shh. Quiet."
  • (Christina Ricci) "And so, the next night, the ghost returned to the haunted cabin. And he said to the campers, "None of you really believe in me, so I'll have to prove my power." And the next morning, when the campers woke up, all of their old noses had grown back."
  • (Christina Ricci) "You sent us to camp. They made us sing."
  • (Christina Ricci) "I don't want to be in the pageant."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Don't you want to help me realize my vision?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Young lady, I am getting just a tad tired of your attitude problem."
  • (Christina Ricci) ""Dear Wednesday and Pugsley. I love you dearly, but I can never see you again.""
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Glicker, go."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Good try."
  • (Christina Ricci) ""When you are grown up and very lonely, you will understand. Love, Uncle Fester." He's a dead man."

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky

  • (Joan Cusack) "These Addams men, where do you find them?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "It has to be damp."
  • (Joan Cusack) "You know, when I first saw him, I thought he was from Europe."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "You did?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "It's true."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "But, I took a bath."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Yes, I need to renew my passport. I'll be leaving the country very shortly."
  • (Passport Clerk) "Will you be traveling alone?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "Yes, I'll be a widow."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Husband number two. The senator. He loved his state, he loved his country."
  • (Carol Kane) "What about Debbie?"
  • (Joan Cusack) ""Sorry Debbie, no Mercedes this year. We have to set an example." Oh yeah? Set this."
  • (Joan Cusack) "I just can't tell, does he like me at all?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Of course he does. He vomited."
  • (Joan Cusack) "That's true. Does he always do that with women he likes?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Oh, no. Just you."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Isn't he a lady killer."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Acquitted."
  • (Joan Cusack) "I'll get you; and your little hand, too."
  • (Joan Cusack) "My latest husband, my late husband, Fester."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "The fool."
  • (Joan Cusack) "The corpse. And his adorable family. You took me in, you accepted me, but did any of you love me? Really love me?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Hands."
  • (Joan Cusack) "But with your looks, your charm -- women must follow you everywhere."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Store detectives."
  • (Joan Cusack) "So I-I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren't I a human being? Don't I yearn, and ache, and shop? Don't I deserve love -- and jewelry?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "I don't wanna hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won't listen. And so, I have to use persuasion. And slides."
  • (Joan Cusack) "My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or were they ? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday."
  • (Joan Cusack) "I was 10, and do you know what they got me? Malibu Barbie."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Malibu Barbie."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "The nightmare."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "The nerve."
  • (Joan Cusack) "That's not what I wanted. That's not who I was. I was a ballerina, graceful, delicate. They had to go."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Hold still, you little brat."
  • (Christina Ricci) "He's not a brat."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Of course not. He's an adorable little baby."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Fine. Rub it in."
  • (Joan Cusack) "And I dreamed that when I met him that we would wait until our wedding night to give ourselves to one another, to make the ultimate sacrifice."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "A goat?"
  • (Margaret Addams) "What."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Oh, I didn't say anything."
  • (Margaret Addams) "No, that's the baby's nickname, "What." From the obstetrician."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Would you die for me?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Yes."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Promise?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "FREEZE."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Pookie?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "I tried to make it look like an accident. I tried to give you some dignity. But oh no, not you."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "What are you saying?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "I'm saying I want you dead and I want your money."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "But -- but -- don't you love me?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "AH HA HA HA."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Is that a no?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "Hi, I'm Debbie Jellinsky from the agency."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "The agency? But they claimed no one else was available. They suggested a Doberman."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Fester?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Uh-huh?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "We may be together for a while."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "All our lives, cara mia."
  • (Joan Cusack) "What?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Mon cher."
  • (Joan Cusack) "Speak English."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Pumpkin?"
  • (Joan Cusack) "And if I have to be seen with you, we need to make some changes."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Changes?"

Carel Struycken as Lurch

  • (Carel Struycken) "Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-uh."
  • (Carel Struycken) "Grrrrr --"

Raúl Juliá as Gomez

  • (Raúl Juliá) "Cara mia."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Oh, dear."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I hope that someday you'll know the indescribable joy of having children, and of paying someone else to raise them."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "He has my father's eyes."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Gomez, take those out of his mouth."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Good show, old man."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I demand justice. Someone has married my brother."
  • (Nathan Lane) "No."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "She took him to Hawaii."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Get outta here."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "They have moved into a large, expensive home, where they make love constantly."
  • (Nathan Lane) "I hate when that happens."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Arrest her at once, without delay."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Who?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Debbie. My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Officer, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own --"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Gomez, NO."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "A Buick."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice; denied. I shall not submit. I shall conquer. I shall rise. My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I have seen horror."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "They're at camp."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen -- you."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Hook him, book him, cook him. Now."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "That poor girl. Lurch, was she in there before you baked?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "C'est la vie."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Perfection achieved. We are the luckiest brothers on Earth. We are unworthy of such splendor, undeserving of such radiance."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Uh -- that's right. We should have -- ugly girls."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Fresh air. The scent of pine."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Cara mia."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Mon cher."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "At his request, I would rip out my eyes. At his command, I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Why wait?"

Jimmy Workman as Pugsley

  • (Jimmy Workman) "It's a boy."
  • (Christina Ricci) "It's a girl."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Gomez."
  • (Carol Kane) "What news?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Father, what is it?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "It's an Addams."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "I am a turkey. Kill me."
  • (Unnamed) "Eat us. Hey, its Thanksgiving Day. Eat us, we make a nice buffet. We lost the race with Farmer Ed, eat us 'cause we're good and dead. White man or red man from east, north or south, chop off our legs, and put 'em in your mouth."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Eat me."
  • (Unnamed) "Sautéed or barbecued."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Eat me."
  • (Unnamed) "We once were pets but now we're food. We won't stay fresh for very long. So eat us before we finish this song. Eat us before we finish this song."
  • (Young Girl) "And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "Our parents are having a baby, too."
  • (Christina Ricci) "They had sex."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "What's a Chippewa?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "It's an old Indian word."
  • (Christina Ricci) "It means "orphan.""

Peter MacNicol as Gary

  • (Peter MacNicol) "Mail call."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Addams."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Barclay, Cesselman, Calloway, Dexter, Donman, Edwards, Evans, Barclay, Finley, Fisher, Gingham, Ginley, Harper."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Oh, no."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "What is it?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "This is unspeakable."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Is something wrong, Wednesday? Bad news?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "This is the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of human events. Uncle Fester's getting married."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "A wedding? But that's great news."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "To whom?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "The nanny."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "Get out of the cabin. I mean, I'll kill myself. The help?"
  • (Christine Baranski) "I'm sure she's a very nice lady."
  • (Mercedes McNab) "I think that's disgusting. I think their whole family's like some weird medical experiment. I think they're like, circus people."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "What did you say?"
  • (Christine Baranski) "Campers. Group hug."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Wednesday -- Pugsley. Will a hug hurt us?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "We don't hug."
  • (Christine Baranski) "Oh, they're just shy."
  • (Jimmy Workman) "We're not shy."
  • (Christina Ricci) "We're contagious."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "I'm sensing some friction here. Somethin' not quite Chippewa."
  • (Unnamed) "Mm-hmm."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "But, hey, no problemo. All they need are good friends, good fun, and a little time in the Harmony Hut."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Children, stop it. You're destroying my text."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Yes, indeedy, just the ticket: "Bambi.""
  • (Christine Baranski) ""Lassie Come Home.""
  • (Peter MacNicol) ""The Little Mermaid.""
  • (Christina Ricci) "Stop it."
  • (David Krumholtz) "He's only a child."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Attention. Hey. Listen up, everybody. I'm Gary Granger."
  • (Christine Baranski) "And I'm Becky Martin-Granger."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "We're the owners and directors here at Camp Chippewa. America's foremost facility for; privileged young adults."
  • (Christine Baranski) "And we're all here to learn, to grow, and to just plain have fun."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "'Cause that's what being privileged is all about."

Carol Kane as Grandma

  • (Carol Kane) "Stay back. He's very sick."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "My baby."
  • (Carol Kane) "Unless Fester comes back, we're talking dimples."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Not in this house."
  • (Carol Kane) "He could stay this way for years. Forever. He could become -- a lawyer."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "I won't listen."
  • (Carol Kane) "An orthodontist."
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Mama. Stop."
  • (Carol Kane) "President."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Please. I beg you. Take me."
  • (Carol Kane) "Luxor, nexor, burst and BURN."
  • (Joan Cusack) "What is she doing?"
  • (Carol Kane) "Just a curse. Have a nice day."

David Krumholtz as Joel

  • (David Krumholtz) "Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "No."
  • (David Krumholtz) "But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "I'd pity him."
  • (David Krumholtz) "Poor Debbie. She was sick."
  • (Christina Ricci) "She wasn't sick. She was sloppy."
  • (David Krumholtz) "What do you mean?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught."
  • (David Krumholtz) "How?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "I'd scare him to death."
  • (David Krumholtz) "No, you wouldn't."
  • (David Krumholtz) "We're all very sorry, Debbie. We wish you only the best."
  • (David Krumholtz) "Do you know what happens if my mother uses a fabric softener?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "What?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "I die."
  • (David Krumholtz) "I'll never forget you."
  • (Christina Ricci) "You won't?"
  • (David Krumholtz) "You're too weird."
  • (David Krumholtz) "How do I look?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Disturbing."
  • (David Krumholtz) "Look at this. I got 'em. "Schizos and Serial Killers". I have almost the whole series. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac Guy."

David Hyde Pierce as Delivery Nurse

  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Nurse, how close are the contractions?"
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Every fifteen seconds, doctor."
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Are you in unbearable pain? Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture?"
  • (Anjelica Huston) "Oui."

Sam McMurray as Don Buckman

  • (Sam McMurray) "Our Amanda's already skipped two grades. How 'bout your boy?"
  • (Raúl Juliá) "Probation."

Christine Baranski as Becky

  • (Christine Baranski) "It's an American Bald Eagle."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "But, aren't they extinct?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "They are now."

Julie Halston as Mrs. Glicker

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Cynthia Nixon as Heather

  • (Cynthia Nixon) "Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Prevent them?"
  • (Mrs. Montgomery) "Alright children, I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question. Where is that baby?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Which part?"
  • (Unnamed) "Hello kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet. What shall we do today? I know. Let's all clean our rooms."
  • (Christina Ricci) "Hello Polly, I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul."

Mercedes McNab as Amanda

  • (Mercedes McNab) "Hi, I'm Amanda Buckman. Why are you dressed like that?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Like what?"
  • (Mercedes McNab) "Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?"
  • (Christina Ricci) "Wait."

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Additional Film and TV Quotes

The Muppet Movie Quotes | It Came from Beneath the Sea Quotes | The Bad Sleep Well Quotes | Spider (2002 film) Quotes | Roots (1977 miniseries) Quotes | Texas (TV series) Quotes | Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Quotes | To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar Quotes | Devil Girl from Mars Quotes | The Count of Monte Cristo (2002 film) Quotes | The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz (film) Quotes | First Blood Quotes | Papillon (1973 film) Quotes | Drop Dead Gorgeous (film) Quotes | Avalon (2001 film) Quotes | The Gambler (1974 film) Quotes | Two Brothers (2004 film) Quotes | Quatermass and the Pit (film) Quotes | White Chicks Quotes | Sleepover (film) Quotes | The Bourne Supremacy (film) Quotes | Coach (TV series) Quotes | Friday the 13th: The Series Quotes | The Xindi Quotes | The Keith Barret Show Quotes |