According to Jim Quotes

According to Jim is a television program that first aired in 2001 on American Broadcasting Company. According to Jim stopped airing in 2009.

According to Jim lasted 8 seasons and 182 episodes. According to Jim is created by Tracy Newman.

According to Jim is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of According to Jim is 22 minutes long. According to Jim is produced by Tracy Newman-Jonathan Stark (actor) Productions and distributed by Disney-ABC Domestic Television.

According to Jim Quotes

• (Unnamed) "How about -- sex with another woman?"
• (Unnamed) "You or me?"

• (Unnamed) "That's the great thing about you, honey -- you remember every freakin' thing I say."

• (Unnamed) "Wow, Andy, it's like someone connected your legs to your brain."

• (Unnamed) "Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles?"
• (Unnamed) "How does that work?"
• (Unnamed) "She's our sister, we're part of her posse."

• (Unnamed) "I want a sponge bath, from a nurse."
• (Unnamed) "What?"
• (Unnamed) "Uncle Andy says there the best."
• (Unnamed) "I think sometimes Andy forgets that Kyle's in the back seat."

• (Unnamed) "I once walked in on my grandparents doing it. I mean, Grandpa's in his 70's, but he was really putting Nana through her paces."

• (Unnamed) "You don't even know me any more. I think we should have more sex."
• (Unnamed) "Why?"
• (Unnamed) "Why not?"

• (Unnamed) "I'm trying my best to stay neutral, like Switzerland"
• (Unnamed) "You mean creepy Switzerland that hid nazi money?"
• (Unnamed) "No, I mean fun Switzerland with the watches, and the chocolate"

• (Unnamed) "Do you want Cheryl to make you a sandwich?"
• (Unnamed) "I don't think that'll help, Jim."
• (Unnamed) "Do you want to make me a sandwich?"

• (Unnamed) "Mom, I, uh -- I kissed a girl in college."
• (Unnamed) "Uh -- me too."
• (Unnamed) "Andy, don't tell stories."

• (Unnamed) "How do you knock someone up?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, you know how you knock someone down. Well, it's the opposite of that."
• (Unnamed) "Hey, let's go knock Kyle up."

• (Unnamed) "OK, I stucked the cat in the freezer."

• (Unnamed) "If your gonna cry for anyone, cry for me. I'm the one who's gonna have to babysit a fourth kid for free one day."

• (Unnamed) "You're cake angry. You didn't sound cake angry on the phone."

• (Unnamed) "Jim, there's a lot of culture in this city. We should take advantage of it."
• (Unnamed) "What? I take you to the zoo."

• (Unnamed) "Trophies are stupid and all the others are nerds. It's like being with 50 other Uncle Andys."

• (Unnamed) "Jim. B-I-R-D A-T S-I-X O-'-C-L-O-C-K."
• (Unnamed) "-- You want to have sex with a clock?"

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