(Article is below...)

21 Jump Street (film) Quotes

21 Jump Street (film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . 21 Jump Street ended its run in 1970.

It features Neal H. Moritz; Stephen J. Cannell as producer, Mark Mothersbaugh in charge of musical score, and Barry Peterson (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

21 Jump Street (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 21 Jump Street (film) is 109 minutes long. 21 Jump Street (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Ice Cube as Captain Dickson, Channing Tatum as Jenko, Jonah Hill as Schmidt, Nick Offerman as Deputy Chief Hardy, Dave Franco as Eric Molson, Caroline Aaron as Annie Schmidt, Johnny Depp as Tom Hanson, DeRay Davis as Domingo, Jake Johnson as Principal Dadier, Ellie Kemper as Ms. Griggs, Rye Rye as Jr. Jr., Rob Riggle as Mr. Walters, and Chris Parnell as Mr. Gordon.

21 Jump Street (film) Quotes

Jonah Hill as Schmidt

  • (Jonah Hill) "I think I s*** my pants."
  • (Jonah Hill) "It looks like I died in a car crash and you never got over me."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Is it me?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "Hey, Melodie."
  • (Jonah Hill) "When did I get stabbed? That's awesome."
  • (Jonah Hill) "We're like, in the end of "Die Hard" right now, only it's our actual life."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Hey Korean Jesus."

Channing Tatum as Jenko

  • (Channing Tatum) "Those are jocks, those are nerds --"
  • (Channing Tatum) "I don't know what those are --"
  • (Jonah Hill) "What the f*** are those things?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "Hey, you want me to beat your dick off?"
  • (DeRay Davis) "You want to beat my dick off?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "I'll beat your dick off with both hands, let's go."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Where do we report to?"
  • (Nick Offerman) "Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street -- wait, that doesn't sound right."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Look, it obviously starts with -- you have the right to remain silent --"
  • (Jonah Hill) "You have the right to an attorney."
  • (Channing Tatum) "You have the right to remain -- an attorney."
  • (Nick Offerman) "Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to."
  • (Channing Tatum) "One particle of unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor; carry the '2'; changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider. f*** you, Science."
  • (Channing Tatum) "I'm sorry, I just can't sometimes."
  • (Zack) "You look really old. Were you held back?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "No. You look super young, were you held forward?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "What are you doing, trying to find my g spot? Just stick it in. GO."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Chemistry's the one with the shapes and s***, right?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "Not-So-Slim Shady? What's up, dude?"
  • (Sanders) "You punched me because I'm gay?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "What? No, I -- oh, come on. I punched him and -- he turned out to be gay afterwards."
  • (Channing Tatum) "You have the right to suck my dick, motherf***er."
  • (Channing Tatum) "f*** you, Miles Davis."
  • (Channing Tatum) "The three keys of coolness in high school, by Jenko."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Mmhmm."
  • (Channing Tatum) "One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car."
  • (Channing Tatum) "s***."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Let's just finger each other's mouths."

Rob Riggle as Mr. Walters

  • (Rob Riggle) "I need me some Doug McQuaid."
  • (Rob Riggle) "That's my quesadilla."
  • (Rob Riggle) "You shot me in the dick. Oh, my god. It definitely came out my asshole."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Yes. You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? f*** you, bitch."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Yes, yes, We did it, man."
  • (Channing Tatum) "God, I feel so good."

Johnny Depp as Tom Hanson

  • (Johnny Depp) "Tom Hanson, DEA."
  • (Johnny Depp) "You little dweebs just ruined a five-year investigation."
  • (Jonah Hill) "We had no idea. You're, like, an amazing actor, man."
  • (DeRay Davis) "You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man."
  • (Johnny Depp) "Tough titty. I f***ed her, too."
  • (DeRay Davis) "What?"
  • (Johnny Depp) "You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? Do you see this nose? That is a fake nose. Do you want to wear a fake nose on your f***in' head for, like, months on end? Glue and s***?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "Worse things in the world."
  • (Johnny Depp) "We had to get f***in' tattoos on our dicks, man."
  • (Officer Doug Penhall) "Yeah, actually, I just said that to mess with you."
  • (Johnny Depp) "god**** it. Tom Hanson, DEA."
  • (Johnny Depp) "On your knees. Now."
  • (Officer Doug Penhall) "f***. Doug Penhall, DEA. You're under arrest."
  • (DeRay Davis) "What the --"
  • (Officer Doug Penhall) "Put your guns on the ground."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Yes. Yes."
  • (Johnny Depp) "Shut the f*** up. You dweebs just ruined a five year investigation."
  • (Jonah Hill) "We had no idea, you're like, an amazing actor, man."
  • (DeRay Davis) "You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man."
  • (Johnny Depp) "Tough titty, I f***ed her too."
  • (DeRay Davis) "What?"
  • (Johnny Depp) "You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? You see this nose? This is a fake nose. You want to wear a fake nose on your f***ing head? For, like, months on end."
  • (Jonah Hill) "There are worse things in the world."
  • (Johnny Depp) "We had to get f***ing tattoos on our dicks, man."
  • (Officer Doug Penhall) "Actually, I just said that to mess with you."
  • (Johnny Depp) "What?"
  • (Officer Doug Penhall) "It looks tough."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Hey, man, look we know what its like being undercover. Metro Police, Jump Street division."
  • (Johnny Depp) "You're with the Jump Street? That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street."
  • (Channing Tatum) "What? That's crazy, man."
  • (Johnny Depp) "Yeah."

Ice Cube as Captain Dickson

  • (Ice Cube) "You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherf***ers."
  • (Ice Cube) "That's you, man. Don't do it. Keep that dirty dick inside your pants. Don't f*** no students, don't f*** no teachers --"
  • (Jonah Hill) "Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional --"
  • (Ice Cube) "Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherf***er. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say "shut the f*** up," I'm talking to you."
  • (Ice Cube) "The mission is this: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier."
  • (Channing Tatum) "We get to be brothers?"
  • (Ice Cube) "Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier."
  • (Channing Tatum) "But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers."
  • (Ice Cube) "God damn."
  • (Ice Cube) "Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier."
  • (Ice Cube) "Are you comfortable?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "Yes."
  • (Ice Cube) "Get your -- motherf***ing ass up when I'm talking to you. I know what ya'll thinking. Angry black Captain. It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well let me tell you something, I'm black, and I worked my ass off to become Captain, and sometimes I get angry. So suck a dick."
  • (Ice Cube) "I know what you're thinkin': angry, black captain. Well guess what? I'm black, and I worked my ASS off to be the captain. And sometimes, I get a little angry, so suck a dick."
  • (Ice Cube) "Hey. stop f***ing with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for your problems. He's busy -- with Korean s***."
  • (Ice Cube) "Hey, hey. Stop f***in' with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for yo problems, he's busy wit Korean s***."
  • (Ice Cube) "New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and f*** anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that s*** is allowed."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Oh, I love Disneyland."
  • (Ice Cube) "You two sons of bitches are going to college."
  • (Jonah Hill) "Yes."
  • (Channing Tatum) "No."
  • (Ice Cube) "Who made this? Are you autistic?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "It IS artistic."
  • (Ice Cube) "Clearly, I wasn't talking to you, big titties. You cherub-lookin' mother f***er."
  • (Ice Cube) "Teenage the f*** up."

Dave Franco as Eric Molson

  • (Dave Franco) "You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It Rhymes with GRAPE. It Rhymes with grape."
  • (Dave Franco) "You don't care about the environment? That's f***ed up, man."
  • (Dave Franco) "Get in the f***ing car now."
  • (Channing Tatum) "Not until you ask nicely."
  • (Dave Franco) "Please get in the car?"

Nick Offerman as Deputy Chief Hardy

  • (Nick Offerman) "Do you even know the Miranda rights?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "It obviously starts with -- you have the right to -- remain an attorney --"
  • (Nick Offerman) "Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?"
  • (Jonah Hill) "Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to --"

Caroline Aaron as Annie Schmidt

  • (Caroline Aaron) "What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?"
  • (Channing Tatum) "It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up."
  • (Caroline Aaron) "You think I don't that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls. I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really f***ed up and a lot of fun."

Ellie Kemper as Ms. Griggs

  • (Ellie Kemper) "Oh my God. You're like two Hardy Boys in one."

Jake Johnson as Principal Dadier

  • (Jake Johnson) "I am one gay black kid getting punched in the face away from a nervous breakdown."
  • (Jake Johnson) "Alright, which one of you is Doug?"
  • (Jake Johnson) "Alright, let's try that again and pretend you guys aren't weird."

Chris Parnell as Mr. Gordon

  • (Chris Parnell) "You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it."

Rye Rye as Jr. Jr.

  • (Rye Rye) "We just shut down our second operation. Meanwhiles you two are fingerpoppin' each others assholes."
  • (Jonah Hill) "We ain't finguh-POPpin' each others ace-holes. We're getting s*** done."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.




Additional Film and TV Quotes

I Live on Danger Quotes | The Groom Wore Spurs Quotes | Gunfighters (film) Quotes | The Legend of Bloody Mary Quotes | Intrigue (Revenge) Quotes | Silver Linings Playbook Quotes | It's a Knockout (Australian game show) Quotes | All Superheroes Must Die Quotes | Murder in a Small Town Quotes | Joan the Maiden, Part 2: The Prisons Quotes | Death at Love House Quotes | Chronicle (film) Quotes | Stop at Nothing (film) Quotes | You Are the Apple of My Eye Quotes | With Every Heartbeat (film) Quotes | Twenty Girls and the Teachers Quotes | A Fighting Choice Quotes | The Blue and White Lion Quotes | The Simple Girl Quotes | Wenn Ludwig ins Manöver zieht Quotes | Paper Lion (film) Quotes | Robotech: Love Live Alive Quotes | Lies Before Kisses Quotes | Donald and the Wheel Quotes | Intimate Strangers (1977 film) Quotes |