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Hilarious Thanksgiving Quotations

Thanksgiving Day is the time when millions of people sit around the dinner table and stuff their guts with turkey and stuffing. It's a great holiday in the United States and Canada, but it actually originated in Europe under a different name. The day is not celebrated everywhere around the world, however, and it often occurs on different days of the year.

Below are a few great funny quotes on what Thanksgiving is about and how it came to be.

A turkey with a famous quote
A thank you letter for Thanksgiving
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Irv Kupcinet
The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts... nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.
H. W. Westermayer
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
William Jennings Bryan
I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.
Kevin James
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
Russell Baker
Coexistence... what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
Mike Connolly
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart
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