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Funny Quotes From Semi-Pro

Semi-Pro the movie was disappointing to many people. They were simply expecting something different. Nonetheless, I thought it was rather enjoyable. The song is freaking hilarious and there are some nice lines elsewhere in the film. If you haven't seen it, it's a sports comedy about a basketball team owner in 1976.

Below are some of the funny quotes from Semi-Pro. I hope you enjoy them.

A quote from Semi-Pro.

Director: Kent Alterman
Producers: Jimmy Miller and Joshua Church
Writer: Scot Armstrong
Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, and Maura Tierney
Release date: February 29, 2008

Dick Pepperfield: How did you learn to play basketball?
Jackie Moon: I saw it on TV a couple times, I thought I could do that.

*Jackie Moon tossing ball around stupidly*
Dick Pepperfield: My gosh, it is almost as if you are in some sort of basketball trance.
Dick Pepperfield: What other promotional things do you have planned for this season, Jack?
Jackie Moon: We've got pancake night. First thousand fans who walk through the turn-style, they gonna, gonna get a fresh hot pancake right off the griddle.
Dick Pepperfield: One pancake per customer?
Jackie Moon: One pancake. To do with, what they will. They can eat it, use it as a seat cushion. Uh, lamanate it.
Dick Pepperfield: I suspect most people will eat it.
Jackie Moon: I hope!
Dick Pepperfield: Will there also be butter and syrup?
Jackie Moon: No. Just dry pancakes.
Jackie Moon: We are going to, uh hopefully, uh get a live camel in here and just see what happens.
Dick Pepperfield: No sort of plan at all, just get the camel in here and just see what it does?
Jackie Moon: Let it loose.
Dick Pepperfield: Will this be a trained show camel? Not a professional camel in any way?
Jackie Moon: No. This will be a wild camel shipped over here from the Middle East.
Dick Pepperfield: and you are just going to get him here in the stadium and just see what happens?
Jackie Moon: Well we are going to light firecrackers.
Dick Pepperfield: I would just like the take the oppurtunity to strongly advice against that.
Jackie Moon: Strongly advice against the greatest night in basketball history?
Dick Pepperfield: A wild camel, firecrackers, that just sounds like pandamonium doesn't it?
Jackie Moon: It does! That's what we are all about here in Flint.
I, Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.
Jackie Moon
Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.
Jackie Moon
I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.
Jackie Moon
I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.
Ed Monix
Dick Pepperfield: I am here with owner/player/coach, Jackie Moon, and two of the Flint Tropics Ball girls. Hello ladies.
Jackie Moon: You are a little tongue tied now aren't ya Dick?
Dick Pepperfield: *Laughing* No no no, no no no. Mrs. Pepperfield is watching this, she watches all the broadcasts, and I just want you to know that I have no interest in these ladies what-so-ever. I think they are appalling.
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More Will Ferrell movie quotations:
Step Brothers
Blades of Glory
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