The Office Quotes
Kevin: [wearing Italian on his head] Maybe some spaghetti.
Michael Scott: No, Kevin, stop with Diversity Day for a second!
Michael Scott: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North," and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.
Michael Scott: Man, that Todd Packer could do anything.
Jim Halpert: [mutters] Except pass that breathalizer.
Jim Halpert: Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This Guy!
Dwight Schrute: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Karen: Who are you faxing so early in the morning?
Jim Halpert: Oh, um, it's kind of hard to explain.
Jim Halpert: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationary. So, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future.
Dwight Schrute: When you become close with someone you develop a kind of sixth sense; you can read their moods like a book. And right now the title of Michael's book is; something weird is going on... colon... what did Jan say?... the Michael Scott story... by Michael Scott with Dwight Schrute.
Angela: I don't want to blame anyone in particular; I think everyone's to blame.
Michael Scott: I set the rules and you follow them blindly. Okay? And if you have a problem with that, then you can talk to our complaint department. It's a trash can!
Andy Bernard: Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
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