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Funny Quotations from Roseanne

"Roseanne" is a television sitcom that originally aired from October 18, 1988 to May 20, 1997. The show reolves around the Conners, an Illinois working-class family. The series is ranked as one of TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. The show is well-known as one of teh first series to portray a blue collar American family with both parents working outside the home. Even though the two main characters are overweight, they were never the target of jokes.

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"Roseanne" is a woman strong, talented, and incredibly funny. Read some of her quotes and some from the other cast below.


Darlene: [Darlene and Dan discuss her drug use] Oh, come on, Dad, do you really think what I did was that bad?
Dan: Yes.
Darlene: Give me a break. You grew up in the '60s, I've seen the photo albums. I mean, those clothes had to have some pharmaceutical explanation.
Dan: Ah man. The hospital wants us to fill out a lot more of these forms than when D.J. was born.
Roseanne: I know. We're just having a baby. It's not like we're buying a car.
Mark Healy: How'ya doin', little brother?
David Healy: Fine. 'Cept, thanks to you, now I'm related to my girlfriend.
Darlene: See you, Bubble-Butt.
Becky: Later, Morticia.
Dan: I picked up the tab for those stitches.
Mark Healy: I'll pay you back.
Dan: Yes, you will. But until then, I own them... which means I can rip them out any time I want.
Dan: Do you ever regret marrying me?
Roseanne: Only every second of my life.
Dan: You want dinner? Fine. I'm fixing dinner!
Roseanne: Oh but honey you just cooked dinner 3 years ago!
Roseanne: Well, Dan, I tried everything I could think of today to sell a bike; I lied, I pushed, I nagged.
Dan: Well, you went with your strengths, dear.
Roseanne: How could they be so spoiled when we've given them absolutely nothing?
Darlene: [Becky is deliberately blocking the TV] Becky, I can't see.
Becky: Oh, I'm sorry Darlene. Am I in your way?
Darlene: Well, we've got a 19 inch TV, and you've got a 25 inch butt!
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