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Funny Quotations from Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

"Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" is a talk show hosted by Johnny Carson that lasted from 1962 to 1992 with a total of 4531 episodes. The show followed a set structure of stand up comedy followed by a skit, then interviewing guests that was later employed by David Letterman, Jay Leno, and other late-night talk show hosts. "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" is ranked as number twelve on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time list.

You'll find some of the many hilarious Johnny Carson quotes below.


Ed McMahon: Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
Art Fern: Now back to our feature film! Woody Harrelson, Woody Allen, Woody Woodpecker, Woody Herman, Herman Munster, and Dumpo the Wonder Pigeon, in "Heidi Suffers an Estrogen Avalanche."
Johnny Carson: I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.
Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun.
Ed McMahon: Shogun.
Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store?
[Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter]
Johnny Carson: I didn't even know you were Jewish!
[Ed is laughing to himself]
Carnac the Magnificent: [annoyed] Carnac the Magnificent is attempting to divine an answer and you're sitting here, giggling. May I have silence, please?
Ed McMahon: Of course. You've had it many times before.
Johnny Carson: [when guests talk too much] Exactly what time did I lose control of this show?
Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Debate.
[opens envelope]
Carnac the Magnificent: [reads letter] What do you use to catch de fish?"
[Carson's first monologue]
Johnny Carson: I want my Na-Na!
[Carson's last show]
Johnny Carson: And so it has come to this: I, uh... am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. I want to thank the gentlemen who've shared this stage with me for thirty years. Mr. Ed McMahon, Mr. Doc Severinsen, and you people watching. I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you. And I hope when I find something that I want to do and I think you would like and come back that you'll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been. I bid you a very heartfelt good night.
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