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Funny Quotations from Bored to Death

Bored to death is a comedy series starring Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson. The series lasted three seasons for a total of 24 episodes with each episode lasting around 26 minutes. Schwartzman plays the role of a struggling writer who moonlights as a private eye. Danson plays a wealthy editor of a New York magazine who's addicted to cannabis. The series also stars Zach Galifianakis as Ray Hueston, a comic book artist who has deep psychological issues.

Below you'll find quotes from the hilarious show "Bored to Death".


George Christopher: Men face reality, women don't, that's why men need to drink.
Ray Hueston: [after Leah kisses him in bed] I'm sorry I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?
Ray Hueston: When I was a little kid I used to like to push my penis in, to make it look like it disappeared. Today that happened all by itself.
David Worth: So, why are you so hell bent on getting this script back?
Jonathan Ames: Well, because I have a chance to work with Jim Jarmusch. And if I do, my whole life could change.
David Worth: Hmm... Sounds like an illusion to me. Lives don't change. We simply become more comfortable with our core misery. Which is a form of happiness.
Ray Hueston: Jonathan, I consider myself a very open-minded friend. Half the people I know are disturbed. But you cannot just go around and say that you're a detective. You can't mess with other people's lives like that. You can barely lead your own life.
George Christopher: You need to know when to give me good advice, and that was bad advice. You need to be sane when I'm insane.
Jonathan Ames: But I didn't know you were insane.
George Christopher: Well, you should have.
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