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Quotes by Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens

Mark Twain, whose real name is Samuel Clemens, is one of the most famous American authors in history. He is best known for his children adventure books, such as "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"; however, he is known as much more than a man who writes children's novels. He is a man of wisdom, philosophy, and one of the greatest influences on American writers in history. Today, he is often misquoted. Actually, he is probably the author with the most quotations given to him which were never actually said by him. Nonetheless, this page contains Mark Twain quotes which have been verified to truly be from him.


How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
There are three things which I consider excellent advice. First, don't smoke to access. Second, don't drink to excess. Third, don't marry to excess.
You should never do anything wicked and lay it on your brother, when it is just as convenient to lay it on some other boy.
To have nothing the matter with you and no habits is pretty tame, pretty colorless. It is just the way a saint feels, I reckon; it is at least the way he looks. I never could stand a saint.
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: 'Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is.' Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions....there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.