Quotations About Golf
Related: Fishing, Sports
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
A Mixed Threesome, 1922
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.