Quotations About Games
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972
You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.
Ball Four, 1970
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
A Mixed Threesome, 1922
Football is not a contact sport. It's a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport.
I don't know if I want to go to New York. They'll have to pay me a lot more money because I like it here in Kansas City.
The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.