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Funny Quotations from Zoolander

Zoolander is a comedy film that film features a simple minded male model, Derek, who becomes part of a plot to assinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia. The film features many humorous moments, including a "walk off" between Derek and his younger rival, Hansel, who ousted him as the top male model in the fashion industry.

Zoolander is a fantastic comedy and one of the most hilarious films of the 2000s. Keep reading for more information about the movie and some hilarious quotes.


Director: Ben Stiller
Producers: Scott Rudin, Ben Stiller, and Stuart Cornfeld
Writer: Drake Sather, Ben Stiller, and John Hamburg
Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Christine Taylor
Release date: September 28, 2001


Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
Matilda: I've been trying to reach you for a week.
Derek Zoolander: A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
Matilda: That was last Friday.
Derek Zoolander: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?
Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?
Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.
Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
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