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Funny Quotations from The Santa Clause

The Santa Clause is a family comedy drama about a man who accidentally kills Santa and is forced to take over his job or all the children will go without Christmas. The film follows the life of Scott Calvin as he deals with his new job, his son, his recent divorce, and his "regular" job. The film is a great movie for the entire family. Directed by John Pasquin. Starring Tim Allen, Wendy Crewson, and Judge Reinhold.

The Santa Clause is a fantastic film that was a success at the box office and received mixed to positive reviews from critics. However, I think Tim Allen does an excellent job as Santa and the film has a great story with tons of humor to boot. Here are some quotes from the film The Santa Clause.


Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
Charlie: That's okay, Neil. You were just denying your inner child.
Dr. Neil Miller: You're going to make a great psychiatrist someday, kid.
Charlie: Nah. I think that I'm going to go into the family business.

Scott Calvin: Here we are. Denny's. Always open.
Charlie: I don't wanna eat here.
Scott Calvin: What are you talking about? Everybody likes Denny's, it's an American institution.
Charlie: These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?
Scott Calvin: I hope not. These are... A gift. Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas.
Charlie: Whoa, Dad! You're flying!
Scott Calvin: It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s.
Laura: Here's Neil's mother's number.
Scott Calvin: 1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number.
Little Elf Judy: Not too hot. Extra chocolate. Shaken, not stirred.
Charlie: Dad?
Scott Calvin: What is it, Charlie?
Charlie: Maybe you better leave some milk and cookies out, just in case. Okay?
Scott Calvin: Great. I'll just go pre-heat the oven.
Charlie: And don't forget the fire extinguisher!
Scott Calvin: Good night, Charlie!
Charlie: Get the bag of toys.
Scott Calvin: And do what?
Charlie: Go down the chimney.
Scott Calvin: Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?
Scott Calvin: Johnny, naughty. Gary, nice.
[Sees a beautiful woman]
Scott Calvin: Veronica, very nice.
Veronica: In your dreams, sleigh boy.
Mr. Whittle: Good God, your weight! What happened?
Scott Calvin: Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. It almost killed me. But, the guy at the Emergency Room said that eventually the swelling will go down. I hope.
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