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Funny Quotations from The Hangover

The Hangover is a comedy film about three groomsmen who set out to find the groom who is about to wed. The movie follows the lives of Phil, Stu, and Alan after a bachelor party the night before to celebrate their friend Doug Billings' upcoming marriage. However, the three lost Doug during one of their drunken adventures, so they have to retrace their steps of the previous night in order to find their buddy. Directed by Todd Phillips. Starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha, and Jeffrey Tambor.

The Hangover had huge success at the box office, making around fifteen times what the film cost to produce. However, the film only received slightly positive reviews from critics. Nonetheless, the movie is billed as one of the funniest films of the 2000s. Read on for some hilarious quotes from The Hangover.


Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in *five hours*.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Stu Price: [while Alan adds pepper to the roofied steak] Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper.
Alan Garner: Tigers *love* pepper. They hate cinnamon.
Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuckin' with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.
Alan Garner: Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.
Lisa: I'm not sure.
Alan Garner: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.
Lisa: Umm, there's a phone in your room...
Alan Garner: That'll work.
Alan Garner: Hey, Phil, look.
[laughs hysterically while miming the baby masturbating]
Alan Garner: He's jackin' his little weenis.
Phil Wenneck: Pull yourself together, bro.
Alan Garner: [stops the baby] Not at the table, Carlos.
Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
Alan Garner: Yes.
Stu Price: I look like a nerdy hillbilly!
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