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Funny Quotations from Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal is a fantasty comedy-drama film about a man who is forced to see only the "inner beauty" of people. The story follows the life of Hal as he meets and falls in love with a 300-pound woman because all he sees is her inner beauty. His friend tries to convince him that she isn't right for him, but he knows better. Directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly. Starring Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jason Alexander.

Shallow Hal received mixed reviews upon its release, however, it received great financial success at the box office. The movie is full of great lines, great inspiration, fantastic dialogue, and a lesson we should all learn. Read on for some hilarious quotes from Shallow Hal.


Rosemary: I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me; I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear.
Mauricio: The thing is all the women he's been seeing are ugly.
Tony Robbins: Who says they're ugly?
Mauricio: Bausch & Lomb.
Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Mauricio: Have you heard the song "Who Let The Dogs Out"?
[Walt puts on a pair of rubber gloves]
Nurse Tanya Peeler: What are those for?
Walt: You ever walked through a truck-stop men's room on your hands?
Hal: There's Rosemary.
Mauricio: Where?
Hal: Right there!
Mauricio: Is she behind the Rhino?
Tony Robbins: Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women?
Hal: Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too.
Tony Robbins: Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain? Hal: Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?
Doctor: Reverend Larson? Your son is here.
Reverend Larson: Ok, sure. Send her in.
Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don't really care about the money.
Rosemary: I never read that book.
Hal: What book?
Rosemary: Things losers say.
Rosemary: Is that a Member's Only jacket?
Mauricio: Yes.
Rosemary: So what are you, the last member?
Mauricio: Hey, you got anything better to read? I gotta go fire off a missile.
Next: Shaun of the Dead
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