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Funny Quotations from Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles is an adventure comedy-drama about a man who is trying to get home for Thanksgiving after his flight is re-routed to Wichita, Kansas when it was suppose to go to Chicago. The man ends up tag teaming with a shower ring salesman who tries to help, but they end up getting themselves into some hilarious situations before finally getting to their destination. Directed by John Hughes. Starring Steve Martin and John Candy.

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles is one of the funniest and greatest Thansksgiving movies ever made. Actually, it's one of the most humorous movies ever made, period. John Candy and Steve Martin make for an excellent team and their comedy matches fantastically. Read on for some hilarious quotes from Planes, Trains, & Automobiles.


Del: Six bucks and my left nut says we're not going to be landing in Chicago.
Neal: [on tequila and Doritos] What do you think? You think this is a good combination?
Del: No, probably not.
Del: I guess this is probably a good time as any to tell you this. Our tickets are only good to St. Louis. St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass.
Del: If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?
Del: We'd have a better chance of playing Pick-up Sticks with our buttcheeks than getting a plane outta here tonight.
Neal: Del, why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows.
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
Del: I haven't been home in years.
Hotel Clerk: Do you have seventeen dollars and a good watch?
Del: No I don't. I have uh... two dollars... and a Casio.
Hotel Clerk: I'm going to have to say goodnight, so...
Neal: Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?
Del: I don't have a home. Marie died eight years ago.
Neal: As much fun as I've had on this little journey, I'm sure one day I'll look back on it and laugh.
Del: [giggles] Are you sure?
Neal: [starts chuckling] Oh God. I'm laughing already.
Next: Platoon
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