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Funny Quotations from Ed Wood

Ed Wood is a biography and comedy drama film about the (mostly) true story of a director who would make strange and awful movies with his friends and other actors. Directed by Tim Burton. Based on the book by Rudolph Grey. Starring Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, and Sarah Jessica Parker. This movie won two Oscar awards, including Best Actor for a Supporting Role (Martin Landau).

Ed Wood is a wonderful movie ful of fun and laughter. Read some humorous quotes from the film below.


Vampira: You're watching our Halloween movie, "White Zombie", starring Bela Lugosi, John Harron, Madge Bellamy, and a bunch of other people I've never heard of.
Bela Lugosi: Home? I have no home. Haunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
Bunny Breckinridge: Oh, what does that old queen know?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Are you people insane? I'm the director. I make the casting decisions around here.
[Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night]
Bela Lugosi: Children! I love children.
Waiter: Hi, would you like some water?
Loretta King: No. No water. No liquids! I'm terribly allergic to them.
Nurse: Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela Lugosi: My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse: For what reason?
Bela Lugosi: I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!
Photographer #1: Whose crazy idea was it to bury him in the cape?
Photographer #2: I heard it was in the will. It was how he wanted to be remembered.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Say, let's get married.
Kathy O'Hara: Huh?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Right now. Let's go to Vegas.
Kathy O'Hara: But, Eddie, it's pouring and the car top is stuck.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Phooey. It's only a five hour drive and it'll probably stop by the time we get to the desert. Heck, it'll probably stop by the time we get around the corner. Let's go.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I'm a movie director.
Tor Johnson: Movies? You mean like the Mickey Mouse?
Next: The English Patient
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