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College Quotes

Carter: Uh, so you guys going on some sort of road trip to Fieldmont this weekend?
Fletcher: I just went there to visit my bro. I almost didn't make it back.
Carter: Almost didn't make it back? Dude, it's just college.
Fletcher: Yeah, see that's what I thought; I didn't sleep for three days; OK I don't have any money left in my bank account; I maxed out my parents credit card which was suppose to be used in only cases of emergency; I tried smoking a tampon; wet my brother's bed twice; stole a car; got in a bar fight; ate some gold fish; played naked frisby; found a tattoo on my lower back of a unicorn, don't remember gettin that; I laughed, I cried; all in all I'd say i was the best weekend of my life.

Carter: [to two girls] We're in town for the weekend and we were just kinda wondering if you guys would show us around.
Girl #1: What college are you visiting from?
Morris: We're actually, huh, still in high school.
[the two girls walk away]
Girl #1: Alrighty then. I'll see you guys later.

Kevin: Is this the Beta Phi house? We're suppose to stay here this weekend.
Frat guy: Oh, yeah, yeah yeah.
[they go inside the house] Frat guy: We call this the dungeon. Watch this step!

Kevin: This is insane!
Carter: No man. This is college!

[Guy throws waterballoon that hits Kevin]
Guy: Watch your step prefresh! This ain't highschool!

Bouncer: Ten bucks cover tonight, guys.
Morris: What's that, they didn't pay.
Bouncer: Did you see the size of those?
Carter: Hmmm? [fondles his man boobs]
Bouncer: Nah... [shakes head]
Carter: You like that, when I squeeze them together for ya?
Bouncer: I said no.


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