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Quotations from Batman Returns

Batman Returns is an action-crime fantasy film where the corrupt businessman Penguin tries to take over Gotham City. The Catwoman also makes an appearance in this sequal by Tim Burton. The film stars Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, and Michelle Pfeiffer. This was one of my favorite movies while growing up. I loved DeVito as the Penguin. His waddling and the little birds make the movie worth while for the entire family.

Read quotes from this family film, Batman Returns, below.


[addressing a huge flock of penguins]
The Penguin: My dear penguins, we stand on a great threshold! It's okay to be scared; many of you won't be coming back. Thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish *all* God's children! 1st, 2nd, 3rd *and* 4th-born! Why be biased? Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones blown sky high! Forward march! The liberation of Gotham has begun!
Henchman: Penguin... I mean, killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little, uh...
[Penguin grabs an umbrella and shoots Henchman dead]
The Penguin: No! It's a lot!
[Kicks Henchman into the water]
The Penguin: You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You might be right.
The Penguin: [to his penguins] My babies. Did you miss me?
[he gets out of his wooden duck]
The Penguin: Did you miss me?
Henchman: Great speech, Oswald.
[Penguin hits him]
The Penguin: [shouting] My name is not Oswald! It's Penguin! I am not a human being. I am an animal! Cold-blooded.
[the Penguin creeps up behind Batman and grabs a trick umbrella - only to find it weaponless]
The Penguin: Ah, shit... I picked a cute one.
[hurls away the umbrella]
The Penguin: The heat's getting to me. I'll murder you momentarily. But first I need a cold drink of ice water.
[he keels over on the edge of the bank and lands face first in the water. Six emperor penguins waddle up to the him and slide his body into the water]
Selina Kyle: A kiss under the mistletoe. You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Bruce Wayne: But a kiss can be even deadlier... if you mean it.
[silence as they realize each other's identities]
Selina Kyle: Oh, my God. Does this mean we have to start fighting?
Bruce Wayne: Let's go outside.
The Penguin: They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Was.
[shoots Batman]
Volunteer Bimbo: You are the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.
[the Batmobile is evading the police. Batman flips a switch on the control panel, and nothing happens]
Batman: That's funny.
[Flips switch again. Nothing happens]
Batman: Alright, NOW I'm a little worried.
[Slaps control panel; Batmobile morphs into the Batmissile]
Next: Batman Forever
More:
Batman
Batman & Robin
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight

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