Poetry and Quotations

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Bad Santa Quotes

Watching Boy: [stares at Willie] I saw you at another mall.
Willie: Well, I'm happy for you.
Watching Boy: If you really are Santa, you could do magic.
Willie: [whispers] Wanna see some magic? OK, let's watch you disappear!
[shoves him away]

Gin: Sweet Jews for Jesus!

Kid: It's a wooden pickle.

Bob Chipeska: I just can't help it. There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.

Marcus: Oh, my. What a darling photo. Are you certain you only want this single? Additional photos come in handy as gifts for grandma and grandpa, or as a wonderful remembrance for friends.
[photo of Santa looking down and young girl looking away]
Milwaukee Mom with Photo: Gee, you know what? This one, I think it's more than enough. Thanks. Merry Christmas...

Gin: [after seeing a kid has placed a game in his pants] What's this?
Shoplifter: I was going to pay for it.
Gin: Wrong answer.

Kid: OW... OW... OW... I cut my hand, by mistake OW... OW... OW...

Kid: Your beard's not real.
Willie: No Shit!It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out.
Kid: How come?
Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean.
Kid: Mrs. Santa?
Willie: No it was her sister.

Kid: Candy corn?
Willie: Well they all can't be winners!

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Christmas Movie Quotes

Christmas Vacation
Elf
Four Christmases
Fred Claus
Frosty the Snowman

More movie quotes