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A Christmas Story Quotes

Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.

Head Elf: COME ON, KID!
[pulls Ralphie]
Head Elf: COME ON!
Santa Claus: HO! HO HO!
[spins Ralphie around]
Santa Claus: HOOOO... HOOO... HOO... And what's your name little boy?
Male Elf: Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE'S CLOSING!
Head Elf: Listen little boy, we have A LOT of people waiting here, so GET GOING!

[overdressed for winter]
Randy: I can't put my arms down!
Mother: Well... put your arms down when you get to school.

Mr. Parker: It could be a bowling alley!
Mother: How are they going to deliver a bowling alley here tonight?
Mr. Parker: They'll send the deed for cripsake. I didn't expect them to send a whole damn bowling alley.

The Old Man: [shouting] Don't anybody move! Hold it right there! The fuse is out.

Ralphie: Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. I guess I'd just like some Tinker Toys.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinker Toys? She'd never buy it.

Mother: Randy? What's wrong? Whatcha cryin' for?
Randy: Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!
Mother: No he's not...
Randy: Yes he is!
Mother: No, I promise, Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie!

Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Mother: He does not!
Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!

Man in Line for Santa: Young man. Hey, kid! Just where do you think you're going?
Ralphie: Going up to see Santa.
Man in Line for Santa: The line ENDS here. It begins THERE.


Christmas Movie Quotes

Bad Santa
Christmas Vacation
Elf
Four Christmases
Fred Claus

More movie quotes