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Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin

George Carlin is seen as one of the greatest comedians during the 20th century. He is best known for his "words you cannot say", but a lot of his act was about the failure of politics, big government, and people who don't care about others. Sadly, when listening to some of his earlier works, you will notice that what he said then is still in effect now. The human condition has changed very little over the past 40 years and probably will not change due to humans being incredibly stubborn and selfish. Read some of George Carlin's famous quotes below.


Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
The status quo sucks.
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Quotes About Death By George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.