liar

I lie to myself so I dont go insane
wear my fake smile of hidden disdain
nights full of tears
wet my pillow of fears
lie so I dont go insane.

I pretend to be happy
and let others know
I feel little remorse for
when I have to go.
Death is the way out
the only way I see
well thats how I see it
thats the way for me.
Kicking and screaming
want it all to end
still I wear my smile
and still I pretend.

Surrounded by peers
all through out the day
not one word escapes me
I have nothing nice to say.
I really dont like many people
they all just dont care
most of them dont even realize
people like me are there.
Surrounded by people all through out the day
dont care what they think
or what they have to say.

My mind wanders around the thought of my demise
how to end it all
maybe work out a comprimise of my wanted fall.
My mind wanders around the
thought of how I want to die.

I now sit here writting to you all
wondering if I'm good enough
planning for my fall.
You probably think I'm crazy but thats what I am
so as you read my poem
remember: I lie so I dont go insane.

by LostInDarkness
posted on 11/06/2009