I've Had Enough

I've been trying to hold them back all morning.

But then the eyes pour out little streams of sadness,
Sorrow and dispair...
Trying to cover my face with
A curtain of long ebony hair;
Oh God,
This is what suffocation feels like,
Drowning in my own tears,
This heart ache is actually making me choke,
I can feel it in my throat,
And it really hurts.

This sickness is starting to feel physical,
Sleep is my own release,
I don't want to be here anymore.
I can't feel anything good anymore;
Can you see me?
Am I even real?
I thought that it was making me stronger,
But now it's getting harder
And I don't know when I'm going to break.

Don't you get it?
Can't you see what you're doing to me?
You ignorant b a s t a r d s;
Just look at yourselves;
It makes me sick what I see.

Beneath a surface of pale skin
Is a broken child,
F u c k e d over and discarded,
Left alone,
God, why can't you see it?
Why do you have to make it worse?

I thought that I was better
But I'm not,
I'm trying so desperately to sort my life out,
But I can't do it on my own.
But you can't help me,
You make everything worse,
Even though I have so much love for you.

I've been thinking,
And the scars tell the story anyway,
Maybe,
I shouldn't stay here,
Why don't you just tell me
My reason to live,
Why, God, do you still put me here,
Why can't you fix it?
You know I can't do it on my own.
I'm sorry, okay,
I know I'm just a big disappointment to you all,
But I didn't mean to be I swear,
I just wanted out
I wanted to get out of my head for a while,
I didn't know what I was doing.

And now I don't know what to say anymore
Because I know that the only person
That can ever make me happy
I can't have back.
I wish we didn't still love each other.

But that's just the truth of it, isn't it?
Love is just one big f u c k-up.
I wish I didn't love.
It always returns to stab me in the back.
Why should I even bother.

(c)

by LoveLiesBleeding
posted on 09/14/2007