feel

Look at me in the eye, Dad.
Face the ways you’ve hurt me.
Think of all that’s gone.
Think of what will never be.

Notice all these scars, Dad.
This way I wrote my hurt.
Pain in ways I couldn’t say,
Once covered under my shirt.

Remember those deep bruises, Dad.
Black and blue from ruthless fights.
Conceited minds deny the truth,
But I remember the terrifying nights.

Laying down you could see my ribs, Dad.
I starved for the control you took away.
Ridges made beneath my pale skin,
Hope dropping with the pounds each day.

What was it like in jail, Dad?
Maybe those bars solidified your fault.
Were you ashamed of your mistakes?
It’s what you fucking get for assault.

You’ll never see these tears, Dad.
Crying to release the bitter truth.
Salty pain and glazed eyes,
Mourning a broken youth.

When will you let yourself feel, Dad?
Confront the costs of your drunken pride.
My disappointment in you can’t be changed,
But when you feel and then fail as I know you will…

I’ll at least know that for once you tried.

by fade
posted on 05/07/2008