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Concretopia

There's a place I grew up-
Beautiful scene-
It was my kingdom,
I was it's queen.

But strangers came
And polluted my dream,
They killed all my subjects
And blackened my streams.

They stole my land's spirit,
Stole it away,
Left me with death
And cold hard clay.

It's the place I grew up,
But it's changed since then.
The fields became streets
And the strangers, men.

by beautifuldisaster
posted on 10/07/2009

Vote: Vote upVote down
Comments: 19
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Comment by Telemachus: Oct 7, 2009 2:04 pm
I've been reading "America, America" by Ethan Canin. This really reminds me of bits of that - about the loss of landscape and the places we knew.

When I was a kid you never had to wait top cross the street - because there weren't all that many cars - whenever I have to wait at the bottom of my street now it makes me think of how much we've lost.
Comment by angelofthetruth: Oct 7, 2009 1:12 pm
i love this! very well written
Comment by grunty: Oct 9, 2009 1:53 am
I love the feel of this poem. I agree with Tink...very serene.
Nice work.
Comment by softrain: Oct 11, 2009 2:26 pm
extraordinary!
Comment by Luv4shelly: Oct 7, 2009 4:35 pm
i love how it goes from fantasy to reality
Comment by darknessofcrows: Oct 7, 2009 3:06 pm
........ I love it!!!!!! I read it five times... very good. votes.... up.
Comment by chiwa: Oct 7, 2009 3:14 pm
very nice. voting up as well.
Comment by monkeyboy2416: Oct 8, 2009 7:38 am
Ah the sweet smell of the past burning.

Great stuff, right up my street.
Comment by jakewritespoems: Oct 8, 2009 5:29 pm
I like it
Comment by Tinkerbellpixie: Oct 8, 2009 8:04 pm
Great job. I wish there was more greenery... it is so beautiful and serene. I love the title.
Comment by ZackeryDaley: Oct 9, 2009 7:28 pm
The first stanza impressed me although I am not really interested in pollution and garbage
Comment by Uncertain: Oct 11, 2009 11:27 pm
This very much reminds me of a dream I once had, never really thought of the darkness as polution.

I like this a lot, very well written
Comment by esportslover18: Oct 15, 2009 11:56 am
great job!! i love it!!
Comment by flippinthrulife17: Oct 16, 2009 8:15 am
whoa whoa *shivers* I love this! It's saddening, yes, but you're very good at expressing these things! and you play with the images, you did well!
Comment by ghostsprite: Oct 20, 2009 11:38 am
i dnt undrstnd hw u cn hav so mny comnts 4rm ppl hu lik dis shit
ur nt a poet.. any1 cud hav ritn dis

js go hme! ha!
Comment by Morior: Oct 25, 2009 11:06 pm
I love it
Comment by mybeloved: Nov 3, 2009 5:56 am
hahaha niiice.
Comment by concretegirlie: Nov 4, 2009 6:42 pm
I like the analogy you used of a kingdom. I think this is creative & quite unique.
Comment by myhawthorneboy: Nov 18, 2009 1:29 am
i love it. i like how you used a castle and what not to describe it
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