Angelic Smile

Her smile
Her Angelic smile
My little child
you are the hope among us all
I am sorry I have to abandon you
But I will always love you
I don't want you
to lead the life I have lived
I want you to choose what you become
Though I do not regret having you my love
I am sorry that you have been born
By the time you are my age
You will have walked the allies
Trotted through the streets
Held a gun and had one held at you
Tasted or forced drugs and possible sold them
Felt the presence or witnessed death
Felt the blood of the innocent or shed it
It is not that you will choose this I know
But the fact that in this world these events are inevitable
I have cried many nights and have come to this decision
I don't want you to become like me
I don't want to be the bad example
I don't want you to stand up in class and say " My mommy is a gangster and prostitute"
Though these aren't entirely true
These are what society labels me as
I have killed, and sold drugs
I have tainted my body
So that I could provide for you
Though it sounds like I am pushing off the blame
I know it is entirely my own
That is why I am abandoning you and this life
to start over for you
I want you to have a better parent
So I will let you go for your best future
I do not regret having you
But I am sorry you were born
I couldn't provide for you
I deeply regret this
But some day when i can fix myself
Before I am selfish enough to drag you into my life
I will come back for you
I will miss you my love
And forever your Angelic Smile

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Okay I tried my hardest on this, If you liked it, hated it, cried, or didn't even finish reading it (cause I know it is long) please let me know!

by alostsoul
posted on 06/27/2009