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Sun blister
He would highlight each sin
each stitch of inadequacy was
nursed with a careful hand,
always finding me
in the clean of a hushed moment
he was the Sun-
tomorrow the burn-
and I played the barren skin,
with no willows to curtain
the luster of another
chemical winter
by SilentWords
posted on 10/20/2009
each stitch of inadequacy was
nursed with a careful hand,
always finding me
in the clean of a hushed moment
he was the Sun-
tomorrow the burn-
and I played the barren skin,
with no willows to curtain
the luster of another
chemical winter
by SilentWords
posted on 10/20/2009
Vote: 
Comments: 13
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Comment by Darkdaydreamer: Oct 21, 2009 12:13 pm
I love it you are amaxing!Comment by nocturnus: Oct 20, 2009 6:50 pm
Impressive...I like this poem.
and I played the barren skin,
with no willows to curtain
the luster of another
chemical winter.
Comment by grunty: Oct 21, 2009 7:00 am
he was the Sun-
tomorrow the burn-
That is really good!
When I grow up, I want to write like you.
Comment by beautifuldisaster: Oct 21, 2009 8:29 am
Wow... if I had to quote a part of it then it would be the entire poem.
I just love this, like all your work!
Comment by PrettyOdd: Oct 21, 2009 11:26 am
The part that Flippin and Grunty quoted, I loved. But this:
and I played the barren skin,
with no willows to curtain
the luster of another
chemical winter
Well, that's just... I can't even tell you how much I love that.
Comment by monkeyboy2416: Oct 21, 2009 4:10 pm
I'm with Pretty about the end, brilliant.
You write short poetry well, as your thoughts are condensed and vivid they stand in small groups quite proudly.
Comment by fanpirewerevocate: Oct 21, 2009 5:14 pm
I agree with monkeyboyComment by Loveformusicandpoetry1790: Oct 22, 2009 9:26 pm
Short, but very impressive..*very nice work.. Keep it up*smiles*Comment by iusedto: Oct 23, 2009 5:00 am
lol its just not fare, are you serious? do you ever run out? Comment by Telemachus: Oct 27, 2009 6:01 pm
The best relationships are a power sharing deal - not very glamorous - but better than waging endless war...Comment by Tinkerbellpixie: Nov 15, 2009 7:48 pm
"each stitch of inadequacy was
nursed with a careful hand"
I definitely agree with flippin and grunty also, but this was brilliant in my opinion.
Nice job.
Comment by Atavist: Nov 18, 2009 5:27 am
If you write it I will read, and then reread, and then rereread and well you get the point;)With every poem that takes me deeper into your language I forget my own words.
he was the Sun-
tomorrow the burn-
Metaphors are stunning, I know this feeling from somewhere. It's saddening though, I've got to say that.