Struggling Artist [Bugs on the Wall]

Unrecognized talent...
artist...
distanced.

I don't talk about my love affairs with cold metal
and I laugh about the downfall of others.
I never share my real dreams
or tell about how far my hand is reaching for smoke.

When people ask me who I am
I say something along the lines of
"I am Chantal and I want to be a dentist."
I always fail to mention that I'm a struggling artist
Struggling.
To live, to breathe, to pull through this weakness,
and to convinve my body to stop attacking itself.

When people ask me how I've been...
I always say I've been fine.
I never mention that I'm always wondering where all my friends went,
and if dearest betraying daddy ever made it to heaven.
I never mention the fighting.
I never mention that I'm scared.

People never read your poetry unless it's about killing yourself.
So I'll continue to forget to mention my real dreams,
I'll continue to forget to mention that I keep killing the bugs on the wall hoping it will never be me.

by thefadingscene
posted on 07/08/2008