Dudley Browne

Enter Dudley Browne, the Kentucky guy,
who stands at 7 feet tall and has big bug eyes.

He walks to the bar,
I ask, "What'll it be?"

He gives a big grin and says, "A Kentucky Ice Tea."

So I grab the bourbon and concoct the mix,
Adding some extra so the poor redneck gets fixed.

He says, "I'm from the Hills and here for one reason.
And where I am from, whats going on is high treason."

I ask "What is it man? Stop being silly.."
He snaps back, "Now you shut up, I am no hillbilly."

"I don't get respect in these parts, you see?
You think you know me because I'm from Kentucky?"

"What man?" I say,
"You don't know what I'm thinkin'."

He snarls, "Don't give me that, who spiked this concoction I'm drinkin'?"

He gives me a look and an evil grin,
I get the ominous feeling that this is a battle I can't win.

He reaches in his pocket, pulls out a black metal gun,
He cocks it and aims before I think to run.

"This here, son, is my problem solver.
Give me all your cash or meet my revolver."

I open up the register, round up the cash...
Meanwhile, he says,"..and give me all your Kentucky sour mash."

He waves the pistol around violently,
making it blatantly obvious for all to see.

He takes one big swig right from the bottle,
if I don't speed up, he'll come at me full throttle.

So I give him the goods and he grins once again.
He tells me "In my world, killing is no sin."

All at once, Dudley squeezes the trigger,
and in that split second, my fear grows bigger.

Blood splatters the floor, a shot to the head,
I gave him the money and he still shot me dead.

Dudley runs from the bar like a Churchill Downs filly,
He thinks to himself, "Thats what you get for assuming I'm a hillbilly."

by bking84
posted on 04/07/2008