Someone I wish I could hold at least once.

He is someone I wish that I could just hold at least once, from his curly black hair to his light tanned skin ,to everything about him makes me want to hold him.

I have some problems though, see he's not my everyday friend but when I go outside and look in from where I came from I relise that it ws easier looking in that outside the cage with in, cause alls we have is an aqaintence relationship.

Oh! how I wish I could just tel him,Tell him that I Love him but the chance is way to risky & I'm not willing for that to backfire right back to me. It's not insecurities that stop me,It's more of the reaction of what he'll say to me and what is he gonna think or if he'll just walk away and act like I never said anything.

although my light of hope is burning dim I'm still gonna have to grow up and somehow face the truth of being a woman and tell him that I love him but I just don't know how to start and how to end when I actually do see him.

I fight with myself more and more (ha!) Some days I feel like I'm playing a game of tugawar,cause I'm not so sure if I wan't to risk that chance and walk out of my house door and go and knock on his door and say "If I love you would you Love me back?."

I can't the feelings way to risky and I'm not gonna have him look at me like I"m crazy and I'm not gonna have my own feeling's brought down and deducted away for loves sake.

Apart of me is just wanting to go the other way and the other half of me is saying to wait cause he'll get the idea one day and then another half of me always says to just go out and find a knew man for goodness sake.

But when I've been around him he makes me feel safe and protected and warm and shelter's me from harm.

So, to get to my final point I'd like to say that if I could hold him at least once today,well that'd be enough.So one day I got up and I saw an old man and I told him about everything and he said "Well your just about in luck". And I'm like "what could be next?. And the old man pointed to the man I loved and the old man then said "He's ben wanting to hold you at least once."

After that I relised what the old man had meant, that if you really love someone or like someone bad enough don't be afraid to tell them cause if you keep it inside way to long one day that love is gonna be long gone and you won't have nothing else to do escept blame your self for what went wrong.Just because you never had the strength to walk over and say what was on your mind?

That then makes me wonder if Loving someone is a waste odf time. I don't know.All's i know is that I'll be waiting for that speacial guy to walk into mylife and then if he's real enough and stands the test of time.then.....well....that's when I have to decide if I was wrong or if I was right.

Just remember that strong advice for the next time you bump into a guy or a girl that you like.cause you will never know what you will win or loose through out the hands of time.

by Nakayla
posted on 07/09/2007