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That Bastard

He stole my clock
And wound it forwards
Laughing to himself.

That Bastard.

He snuck into my room
In the middle of the night
And gave me grey hairs.

That Bastard.

He put something in my food
And gave me aches and pains so that
My joints hurt in the winter.

That Bastard.

I looked in the mirror,
He'd stolen my reflection
And replaced it with an older, wrinkled version.

That bastard.

I blinked for a minute
And ten years later
I opened my eyes and thought,

You Bastard.

by beautifuldisaster
posted on 10/05/2009

Vote: Vote upVote down
Comments: 37
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Comment by trailseekr: Nov 9, 2009 12:55 pm
Thanks for this... I think we all could have written this and have definately said it 'time and time' again.
Comment by FluffyFish: Nov 16, 2009 2:57 pm
That's great! Good job!
Comment by ForbiddenLove: Nov 11, 2009 6:00 pm
lol funny
Comment by Telemachus: Oct 5, 2009 4:23 pm
I looked and looked but could not find the bad language! Damn!

A thought - this works just as well without the "Time..." line.

Make 'em work!
Comment by SilentWords: Oct 5, 2009 4:39 pm
Time is a bastard, I agree! Nicely done.
Comment by Tinkerbellpixie: Oct 5, 2009 6:45 pm
Who doesn't agree with that? I especially liked the first and second stanzas.
Well done!!
Comment by darknessofcrows: Oct 5, 2009 7:34 pm
Awesome!!!! I love this..... and yes, time is a tres cruel bastard. I still vote to say that time does not exsist... that'll show 'em.... me so mean huh?... votes up!
Comment by beautifuldisaster: Oct 5, 2009 10:26 pm
Hmm ok tele I got rid of it... how is it now?
Comment by grunty: Oct 6, 2009 7:41 am
Hmmmm...strange.
He made me sexier.
Comment by flippinthrulife17: Oct 6, 2009 12:15 pm
LOL okay thats clever AND funny! you can't go wrong with that!!!

lol
Comment by Telemachus: Oct 6, 2009 1:59 pm
Personally - I think it works, beaut - but it's your poem, no need to listen to me.

I agree, grunty, it ain't all bad...

Comment by beautifuldisaster: Oct 6, 2009 3:24 pm
Hmm...look out for 'That bastard 2 (it's not all bad)' coming soon to a cinema near you!!!
Comment by PrettyOdd: Oct 6, 2009 4:39 pm
"I blinked for a minute
And ten years later
I opened my eyes and thought,

You Bastard."

That's frickin' brilliant. It's so true, too. I can still remember little things like the first day I ever learned to tie my shoe, and when I think about it, it doesn't seem like it was all that long ago. Time passes quickly when you aren't paying attention.
Lovely poem.
Comment by darkrose: Oct 7, 2009 6:49 pm
kool its pretty funny lol
Comment by monkeyboy2416: Oct 8, 2009 7:29 am
Aye, he's a shit...

He went out of his way to make my balls sag.
Comment by Rhodrithomas: Oct 8, 2009 1:01 pm
haha great
Comment by Cole: Oct 8, 2009 10:10 pm
lmao
Comment by PurpleApples: Oct 9, 2009 10:39 am
Love it =]
Comment by LKR: Oct 10, 2009 9:58 pm
genius.

bastard. =0
Comment by LavenderLakes: Oct 12, 2009 12:15 pm
Funny. :]
Comment by Thatgirl2013: Oct 13, 2009 12:58 pm
HAHA!
Comment by ChelTern: Oct 14, 2009 12:52 am
I love that it isn't revealed who the bastard is till the end! Awesome!
Comment by sincerlyme: Oct 20, 2009 8:34 pm
I love it,it made me smile
Smiley
Comment by Iridescent: Oct 14, 2009 4:13 pm
really really good!! lol
Comment by pepptago81: Oct 15, 2009 6:20 am
hilarious!!
Comment by mcgeorge40: Oct 15, 2009 3:01 pm
great. really liked it. everybody seems to interpret the bastard as time, but I thought you were blaming God the whole time. I guess it depends on where you stand on religion.

Because I believe God gave me moles and extra long nose hairs.
Comment by amethystangel7: Oct 16, 2009 10:14 pm
Wonderful, really. It has a real deep meaning and it's comical ha ha. keep writing.
Comment by ellipsis: Oct 21, 2009 8:40 pm
haha. for real.
Comment by Cassandra: Oct 22, 2009 7:44 pm
Brilliant!
Comment by pansyxD: Oct 28, 2009 12:27 am
lmfao.
you bastard.
Comment by cocosbaby10: Oct 28, 2009 7:48 am
lamo. it hilarious. and time is a bastard.
Comment by HeartbrokenEmo: Oct 29, 2009 9:00 pm
Time!! Ughhh ... Ahh i really think this poem is AWESOME!! you have an awesome style
Comment by mightymouse: Nov 1, 2009 8:39 pm
Time Time,
I have no time for you

Time, Time
I hate what you do

Time, Time
your wasting my time

Time, Time
You make everything worse than fine

Nice write, beauty!
Comment by DaniDarlz: Nov 4, 2009 6:00 pm
lol this is funny... oh wat time can do to us all!
Comment by kbluwalker00: Nov 8, 2009 8:36 am
Very skillful.
Comment by ChickenFingers: Nov 9, 2009 5:00 pm
hahaha i love this!!! Smiley
Comment by jodieedis: Nov 11, 2009 2:41 am
this is sooo cool who can't relate to that age can make ya feel crap i know ma mum feels it lmao!!!!!!!!!!
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