Uninspired Creativity

What is with these anxious feelings spreading like cancer in my mind
Killing my motivations and desires , making creativity impossible to find
Everything is lacking luster and failing to shine when looking through these broken eyes
But I know I want to keep going and fight, hold on to life and wash away all the why’s
I am loosing grip on those things that once gave me my strength and sense of satisfaction
Those dreams I once held now seem so far and I can never get there with uninspired action
Fighting over my wild ideas and imagination it is only a fraction of inspiration I seek to find
But it seems so lost within weathered wonder that I can never unravel my frail fragile mind
It’s as though there is an ideal within that can’t get out and it blocks my once rampant thoughts
I scribble and scratch tearing away piece after piece of my own existence while creativity rots
Why can’t I free my mind from this uninspired and murky gutter that it washes away within
Why can’t I find all those things that used to be there so pure and strong and nurtured by sin
I lost the ability to articulate my own thoughts or form an opinion inside my own twisted mind
The cost was not only creativity but also the inspiration once derived from the daily grind
I have to wonder where all the luster, the shine and the shimmer goes on a night like this
I don’t like this feeling of being constrained in a world where it is my own mind that I miss
Why can’t I feel that creative pleasure from this piece of paper lying on the table before me
How can there be nothing to conceive of in an uninspired mind when creativity’s cost is free

by Lonesum
posted on 08/06/2007