nothing worse you can do to me

You dragged me from my bed this time, then tossed me down the stairs.
I cried out loud more to my pain, than to my own fears.

I am use to it daddy, I'm use to the traditional beating.
I actually think there's nothing worse you can possibly do to me.

Everytime it storms, everytime it rains.
You come after me daddy, and it's always the same.
The thunder, the lightening, then all the pain.

I would be so quiet daddy, as quiet as a mouse.
No laughing, running, playing in the house.

But still when it storms you come after me.
Yelling, screaming, pulling your belt free.
I'm use to it now, there's nothing worse you can do to me.

You hit me, I scream, no tears, there all gone.
But this time is different, you just stand there, something's wrong.

No one will want you after this, you say, you smiled then leave.
I sit on the floor, confused, wondering what do you mean.

The door suddenly opened. Half a dozen, I counted, men came in.
I guess this is what you mean, I thought, watching the men walk over grinning.

I was up in a second, oh yeah, now I was scared.
I ran, straight for the window, I had to get out, get away from my fears.

I didn't care how, I would swan dive if I had to.
You know there's nothing worse YOU can do to me don't you?

I actually smiled, I was almost there.
Then I felt it. Heavy, hard. No, they hit me with a chair.

It hit the back of my legs. I went down with wide eyes.
No, daddy. Why? why are you against my side?!

They rushed me in a dog pile, grabbing my legs and arms.
No! Please! Don't do this!, I cried out, struggling under a hold insanely strong.

Please! Please! Don't do this! I cried again, then felt my clothes being torn off.
There's nothing worse you can do to me, my mind actually thought.

Nothing worse you can do to me, feeling sets of rough hands grab at my body.
Nothing worse you can do to me, not even if you put a gun to my head and shot me.
Nothing worse you can do to me, feeling something being shoved down my throat.
Nothing worse you can do to me, I think as I began to choke.
Nothing worse you can do to me, screaming, feeling the first guy push inside.

Nothing worse you can do to me... except for this, I finally cried.

by Sari
posted on 08/03/2008