Fucking Happy

Terrible words
Horrifying nights
Shattered glass
One-sided fights

Try not to scream
Try not to cry
Moment by moment
We always get by

Pushed too far
Danger real
Drunken thoughts
Broken deal

Her red neck
His blooming bruise
Our shattered trust
I have to choose

Out the door
Follow fate
911
It’s not too late

Family ruined
No more hope
Constant anger
Ways to cope

Desperate actions
I don’t care
What do I do?
Life’s not fair

Band-Aid out
Helping blade
Thrilled senses
Feelings fade

Silver glint
Sharp bite
Dull tug
Eased night

Covered crimson
Covered truth
Stolen promises
Stolen youth

Raised memory
Red line
Broken recollection
“I’m fine”

Long sleeves
Hidden skin
Convincing mask
Fake grin

Humiliation
Confused blame
Questioned fault
Ruthless shame

“It’s not that bad”
“It’ll never be”
“I feel okay”
Can’t let them see

So many scars
So many lies
Repress bitter pain
Smother harsh cries

One more pound
One less meal
Love the control
No need to feel

“I’m not hungry”
“I don’t feel well”
“I just ate”
Wonder if they can tell

Clothes grow big
Confidence small
Feelings numb
Dreams fall

Pretend so hard
Ignore the fear
Smile over sorrow
Can’t shed a tear

Strength long gone
No longer okay
Life’s too much
Slipping away

Look at what you’ve done to me
Hope that now you’re fucking happy

by fade
posted on 05/08/2008