Darkness Within

this is a good one

wow this is amazing
so simple its great
love it

good one !!!

good luck with another stuff

Cherry Blossom boy thingy is a butt who will die alone with a thousand cats.
Xenoz-It's totally amazing, you really shouldn't be so "self-critical" as you say. And yes, I know that's really hard to do. I am most definitely my worst critic.

DUDE!!!! IDK WHAT YOU'RE SMOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ACTUALLYY LIKE INCREDIBLE!!!!!!LIKE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! ****VOTES UP****TRIES TO VOTE UP AGAIN BUT IT WON'T LET ME, HA**** I LOVE IT!!!!! ***PRINTING IT***POEM ALL PRINTED***HOLDING IT IN MY HAND*** THIS MAKES ME HAPPY CUZ I FINALLY HAVE A NEW POEM FROM YOU TO ADD TO MY COLLECTION AND ITS SO AMAZING!!!!! GOOD RHYTHM AND RHYME AND I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HOW U COULD FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHE. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What an awesome poem, good job.

Holy...crap...WOW! Thank you so much Rok!!!!=D Like, omg!=D I'm glad you love it so much! I dont know what your smoking tho. Its not great! Haha=D

And, thank Psycho.=)

Haha, it is too!!!!! DON'T DOUBT MY OPINION!!!!!
ha, i love how u said "thanks psycho" =P

Haha, it is too!!!!! DON'T DOUBT MY OPINION!!!!!
ha, i love how u said "thanks psycho" =P

Did you mean to comment twice? Haha, I'll try not to doubt.

omigod! ths is really good for five minutes. great rhythem and rhyme to it! why do you think it sucks? its amazing! especially for five minutes!!! lol

woah, this is awesome for just five min! and i dont know why you think it sucks, it's really good ;)

You are an amazing artist, I love your work, Keep writing I love it! I printed this one and put it in my poetry binder! You are an Awesome writer!

Hah, well, thanks everyone!=D I'm glad you all like it!
And as to the me thinking its crappy thing, I pretty muchsay that about EVERY thing I write. I'm very self critical. Haha.

this ain't poetry
it completely lacks structure
find a new hobby

Haha, uhm, since when does poetry require structure?

wow

great poem nothing wrong with it. vote up!!!

if the word "epic" was carved into 100 foot high obelisks and carried on the backs of a million men from one end of the earth to another,and erected on top of mt.everest ....it still wouldnt describe how awesome this poem is

0.0
Wow...thats...touching. dude! Thanks! I'm glad you like it THAT much!

lol cherryblossomman is well... ignorant lol ^^ this poem is good whether or not you actually wrote this in 5 minutes is completely irrelevant, it has a nice flow...

The battle is too intense,
too immense.
It lacks all sense,
all pretense.

it really picked up there and it went from a good poem to a WOW poem

simply put i really enjoyed this

I like it. Well done!

Fairly decent poem. Grade: B

Negatives:

-A tad too one-note (no solution is given to the problem described, persistently negative tone)

-Rhyme scheme is a little wonky

-Lack of imagery (more elaboration on the battle theme would work)


Positives:

-Nice use of pauses, gave the poem a dramatic feel

-Good rhyme words

-Deep subject is well described (emotion)

-Distinct style

-Addresses the reader

hm, thanks for the feedback man. I agree on the negatives except for the one-note part. I dont think theres anything wrong with having nothing but negative. There doesn't need to be a solution. but, thanks for the feedback.=)

if you wrote this in five minutes i'd love to see what you could do in a longer time period. this was amazing and makes me want to give up writing poetry all together. ***goes and deletes account*** nice work and keep it up. i can't wait to read more.

wow this is extremely good

amazing! i crave more!

@Through: Well, thanks=) I'm glad you like it. And, yeah, I'm very self critical, even tho everytone tells me I shouldn't be. It's not really something I can change, haha. I never think what I write is any good until MANY people say so. And, since I've only been writing poetry for...4 months? i find it hard to believe people aren't just humoring me most of the time.
Thanks for the compliment tho!=D

ohh, this was greaaaat!! more!

Thanks all!=D

wow

this is a good poem

You know some of the best poems are written on the spot that is what i like to do.. You Have true talent.. Thankyou for posting this lovely Poem

wow... everyone has pretty much said everything. all i can say is i personally enjoyed this... thanks for writting. keep it up

I love it.

This is so deep..So powerful..You're very good..Keep it up..I think this is so much better then my poem.

Great job! I love it

Can't even find the right word to convey how amazing, words just don't hold enough value.

I liked it. Quick but you could expand it if you wanted to. Good job!

good and veritable stuff...very brief but ..and to the point writing ......congrats

Thanks everybody!!! Did not expect this many comments and this many good reviews!=D

I reallyreally like this.