What it is to love

What it is to love

Well, I hate you now.
It took everything you had
But I'm finally finished being your clown.
After these long years of saying I wasn't sad,
Staying awake late at night to sing sweet songs to you-
And you're not even listening.
Drawing you pictures with my heart and soul,
And digging them out of trashcans.
A frozen memory when I was never cold,
Just numb and frostbitten hands
Nestled serenely inside the space between your fingers-
A space I never really occupied.
Was the price just... too high?
Regardless, the feeling still, like everything else, lingers;
Floating in the air I'm forced to breathe,
Your voice carried with the wind,
Your name in the veins of all the fluttering leaves.
No, I'm not obsessed with your darling,
I'm poisoned with you.
Oh and if you only knew
How many heart attacks have come from all this time spent falling.
Falling for you but never hitting ground;
There was never any ground to hit.
A sideways, darkened passage-way without a light to be lit,
Just like space, just like with you, I never make a sound.
So sorry to say that the day I do reach back to earth,
The end of this hole you threw me in,
My life, my love, won't be of any more worth
My precious angel of sin.
So with my eyes drowning away and chest tight
Know if I were to die tonight,
Your arms are the only place I'd wish to disappear,
In that place life was so clear,
And nothing mattered because you were near.
So please my dear
I'm begging like always, on both knees,
This time don't see right through me

by sakie3
posted on 01/24/2008