Tears

The tears drop in synch with the blood from her wrists.
comingling in a puddle at the shower floor.
Swirling down, hiding in the darkness of the drain
In a way she would like to be hidden.
In a way no one could understand.

At school and work, she's the comedic relief.
Used solely for the pleasure and enjoyment of others.
But they don't see her pain, they don't see the her heart
Which she has laid so delicately on the table,
All walls down and all bets off.

They don't know that she pessimistically waits
For her heart to be smashed by the fists of malice
Her family, her friends breaking her down more each day.
Leaving her nothing for comfort. Nothing for joy.
Not one thing to remind her of the days life was better.

She was not always like this. Broken, and cold inside.
She got tired of being frustrated by life.
Her new memories of happiness leave
Swiftly, as quick as the smell after rain.
When they leave she lies there cursing herself for not holding it.

For not forcing it to stay, forcing it to be a part of her.
For not refusing to let it go. Regret.
Fills her quickly, thousands of words she should have said
Flooding her mind, coalescing with her thoughts until
She can't take anymore. Until she's choked up with fear.

Choked up with hate, and love and implacable feelings.
And a confusion so unexplainable that she just cuts one more time
Just one more mark on her skin seeping into her soul, reassuring
The pain guarantees life, and hope, and she says as she
Hides the razor once more in the crevice of her home.

"Until we meet again."

by alterego
posted on 04/05/2008