life

you sat next to me
at lunch
and asked me
"is your phone on?"
you sent me a text
and there i saw the words
i hoped i would never hear from you
"im pregnant."
i still am choking back my tears
i cant believe this has happened to you
i tried so hard to shield you
to protect you
all of these years
but you pushed me away
and now
you are pregnant
fifteen years old
and pregnant
you are lost and terrified
and considering
illegally
taking the life of an innocent child
because of your stupid fucked up actions
because you decided
you would keep having sex
with a man 6 years older then you
you are killing
an innocent child
killing
a helpless little person
that is part of you
living inside of you
breathing your air
living off of your nourishment,
the closest bond known to man
and
i know it's your choice
what you do
but i can feel that child
in my mind
i can see it
so small
so helpless
suspended in a dark place
and oh god
i can feel the pain
you have no idea
how much an abortion hurts
i can feel it
feel the life
being torn away
from a fragile little being
being discarded
thrown away
in a medical dumpster somewhere
a little baby.
your baby.
you.
and though i did everything i could
and though i did not get you pregnant
and though it honestly
has nothing to do with me
my stomach still churns
my insides are twisting in knots
and i feel
the most bitter guilt
i feel like i should have done more
i dont want you to regret
feel sorry
i want you to be happy
i always have
and i dont want you to live
with the same regrets i do

by oceanreverie
posted on 11/10/2008