Laughing Shield

I always find myself laughing,
Just laughing and laughing i can never stop,
And i hate it, because i always wonder,
Why are you laughing?, nothing is even funny,
And i make myself look like a fool to everyone around me,
I dont understand why i do it, i just cant hold it inside,
Even when i really dont want to, i still do,
Maybe i dont stop to think, stop and slow down,
My body takes hold of itself and i just cant shutup and stop all my sound,
I am a fake a two sided girl, i am diffrent on the computer than in the real world,
But its really not fakeing i guess theres just more things to say when your away,
And its alot easyer to say things when people arent there to look you in the eyes,
Everything i say is just locked up inside, i cant let it go, and it doesnt go away,
I thought after time it would leave but here two years later and its still inside of me,
I dont want to talk, but theres so much to say, i try and keep it locked up inside,
But it finds a way of excape and i cant stop it,
I am controlled by the inner person thats not really me,
Maybe its trying to protect me, but i dont want to be protected,
I am fine on my own, and i wish i would just stop talking and stay to myself,
I wish i didnt have personality that others could pick at,
I always find myself laughing,
Maybe its a shield.

by aqua4ever
posted on 04/23/2008