If only you knew

If only you knew,
If only you could understand,
If only you could see inside me,
You would understand,
I'm a complocated person,
who has many plans,
Im a hero to some,
I try for all,
Sometimes i fail but im always here,
If you trust,
I ask dont give up,
I will be back.
It wont be quick it wont be fast,
but one day i will return,
I have to go home back to hell,
with no food, no help, dirty clothes, bloody faces, and its cold but theres always that torching warmth!
Its what i need to do on my own,
To you my love im truely sorry,
But i cant drag you down any farther then i have,
I want to bring myself up before i belive i can truely please,
I am your hero in the distiance,
Taking a break so i can better,
So i know i can help,
But if i cant help myself on my own,
I cant expect to help you to,
So i know its painful,
but you need to open your eyes,
And see just maybe im not as great as you thought i was,
I thought i was great,
But i'll truely never know,
untill i know if i can make it on my own!
So with that being said,
truely look inside me and see,
what i have to do,
If you truely knew,
you would know,
I'll be gone for a little while,
But i will always return to you the one i love,
But unless i can make it on my own,
I fear i dare not to tread,
Back into the marriage where i would not only break myself but you to.
Now this is the truth of what im doing,
But its not completely my fault,
My family,
My friends,
Even you,
Have brought me down.
The reason i say you,
is you changed in so many ways,
Ways i can dare say,
I do not love,
With that so... im sorry,
But thats why i do the plans that you hate,
Becouse i feel as if i lost my love to marry forever,
Cause forever is the biggest word,
I wanna also wanna take sometime,
To know forever with you is right!

(For who this is to, i will explain more in person our on the phone)
(took 4 days to write this)

by Devilsson
posted on 04/02/2008