I Wish

i love the last 3 lines
they're so original

i agree with secretslie, the final 3 lines are kind of original.
i'd say to look at them, and try to form a poem based on how you wrote the final lines. it may just suit your style of writing better; instead of writing from top to bottom, try from bottom to top, since you seem to know where you want the poem to end, meaning it's only a matter of setting up the beginning to lead that way.

the repetition is okay, but becomes tedious to read after some lines. it doesn't mean that the poem is bad, it just doesn't need to be dominated by "i wish" repetition; normally repeating would emphasise a point, but i feel that it almost makes it trite now. i apologise if this is somehow mean, but it reminds me of how linkin park or some other bands would sing their songs. also, please go back and review the spelling and whatnot in the poem. I don't mean to nitpick, but, frankly, the way a poem's presented is about as important as the way it was written.

aside from that, nice writing. the sentiment's one that you can do a lot with if you set yourself up right- you show that in the final 3 lines.. kind of wish i used them for a poem myself. goodbye

was that supposed to be a sarcastic comment??????