Poetry and Quotations

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Funny Sex Quotes

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Anonymous

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Dorothy Parker

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
Marlene Dietrich

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.
Don Schrader

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.
Elton John

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
George Bernard Shaw

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns