Men in Tights Quotes

Achoo: [standing by a creek] Look, Robin, you don't have to do this. I mean, this ain't exactly the Mississipi. I'm on one side, I'm on the other side. I'm on the east bank, I'm on the west bank. It's not that critical.

Robin Hood: [Robin and Achoo are fight the sherif of Rottinghams men] Watch my back!
Achoo: [Achoo litarlly leans over and looks at his back as a guard punches him twice in the back] Your back just got punched twice.
Robin Hood: Thank You!

Prince John: What can you tell me about Robin of Locksley?
Latrine: Robin of Locksley? Robin of Locksley? Hmm, let me see.
[starts cooking up a potion in her cauldron]
Latrine: Raven's egg! Blood of a hen! A little more blood, yes! Eyeballs of a crocodile! Testicles of a newt! I bet he's a transsexual now! Robin of Locksley is handsome and brave. He seeks to regain his family's honor. Little sod could be trouble.
Prince John: Are you certain?
Latrine: Certain? You want certain, hire yourself a witch! Me, I'm just your cook.
[serves contents of the cauldron]
Latrine: Here, eat that.

Angry Villager: There must be another way of doing the credits.
Fire Marshal: That's right. Every time they make a Robin Hood movie, they burn our village down!

Achoo: [after Blinkin catches an arrow] Blinkin! How did you do that?
Blinkin: I heard that coming a mile away.
Robin Hood: Right-o, Blinkin, very good.
Blinkin: Pardon? Who's talking?

Sheriff of Rottingham: [taking off his leather glove and slapping Robin with it] I challenge you to a duel.
Robin Hood: [picking an iron gauntlet up from the dinner table and smacking Rottingham across the face with it, knocking him down] I accept!

Sheriff of Rottingham: I was angry at you before Locksley, but now I'm really pissed off!
Achoo: Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse's wiener I'd be worrying about being pissed on!

Achoo: Blinkin - what's the fastest way to reach the villagers?
Blinkin: Why don't we fox them?
Achoo: Fox them!

[preparing to ravish Maid Marian]
Sheriff of Rottingham: A chastity belt! That's going to chafe my willy!

Guard: Robin of Locksley, where is your king?
Robin Hood: King? King? And which King might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Larry King?

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More Mel Brooks Movie Quotes

Blazing Saddles
History of the World: Part I
Spaceballs
Young Frankenstein