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Funny Quotes From M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H is one of the most successful television series of all-time. The story is based during the Korean War in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. The plots are political, emotional, comedic, and action based. Of course, on more times than not, Hawkeye stole the show. His pranks, his love interests, and sometimes him having meltdowns were generally the themes of the show.

Below you'll find some of the more humorous funny quotes of the series M*A*S*H.

I'm a life long Anglophile. England is still the only place I know where any young man can grow up to be the Queen.
Hawkeye
I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat.
Charles Emerson Winchester III
I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down.
Hawkeye
Sex happens to be one of the most important things in life in as much as each one of us is one or the other gender of it once we're born, which is the direct result of the act of it.
Henry Blake
It's too big a world to be in competition with everyone. The only person who I have to be better than is myself.
Colonel Potter
Anger turned inward is depression. Anger turned sideways is Hawkeye.
Sidney Freedman, "Dear Sigmund"
Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it. And if that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Frank Burns
A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.
Klinger
What happens in the event that figure 'A' is attracted to figure 'B' and wants to get married. But figure 'A' is already married to figure 'C' and figure 'B' is engaged to figure 'D' but figure 'A' can't keep his hands of figure 'B' because she's got such a great figure.
Trapper
Boy seeing the way you guys work with the wounded, the way you deal with burned up legs, ripped up bellies. Makes me proud every time I throw up.
Klinger
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