Funny Quotes From The Love Guru - Page 2Coach Punch Cherkov: If I sit like this any longer, I'm gonna pop my dink bag.
Guru Pitka: Please welcome, Celine Dion!
Jacques Grande: Ah! This is my day of lucky!
Jane Bullard: I haven't laughed like this in such a long time.
Guru Pitka: Why not?
Jane Bullard: It's hard to laugh when men just see you as some curse.
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
Jacques Grande: Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!
Jacques Grande: And now, I'd like to show my love by making for you a Quebec pizza.
Prudence Roanoke: What's that?
Jacques Grande: Pop-Tart with the ketchup. She's good.
Guru Pitka: Rajneesh, I'd like an alligator soup, and make it snappy. Because alligators are snappy, and at the same time, I want it prompt.
Rajneesh: [answering cell phone] Dell Computers, this is Chip.
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